Choosing Gratefulness

For the past few days I've found myself in a bit of a less than great attitude. And, while there are plenty of excuses for this (a headache that lingered way too long, saying goodbye to friends who visited for five weeks, the grocery store all of a sudden not carrying some the things I've become used to buying each week....on and on, blah, blah, blah...) I finally realized that I could choose to see things differently.

After a chat with a friend last night I've decided to intentionally choose gratefulness this morning in hopes of pushing away the unpleasant-ness that's building up.

So, here we go.  I'm blessed and am grateful for:

• The Internet that allows me to communicate with so many friends around the world
• My God who hears my prayers and the prayers of my friends 
• The fact that I can speak enough Khmer to have conversations with the boys at the center without needing a translator
• Knowing two of the best tuktuk drivers in all of Phnom Penh
• The blessing of working with a staff who really enjoy their jobs and want to His Kingdom come in powerful ways to Cambodia
• A water cooler when it is still 93 in my bedroom at 2a.m.
• The tile walls in our kitchen that are an ever changing art gallery of work done by friends with dry erase markers
• The blessing of living in a country where I can freely talk about and worship Jesus
• My iPod
• A cell phone system that allows the transfer of money from one SIM card to another
• This season of God's providing in abundance
• Airplanes so my friends can come to and from Cambodia for visits
• The Boys Center where younger brothers come and know they are safe, known and cared for by Jesus and a staff of older brothers and sisters
• Games of Jenga with Panha
• Tuktuk rides to work with my sweet friend Somphoas that double as great Khmer practice times

Right, tuktuk rides to work, I need to get ready to meet my friend for our ride.  This has been a very helpful activity as I have a smile on my face that I'm sure will stick around as I've opened my heart to be looking for blessings.

Today will be a good day :-)

Being Taught by the Kids

Today was such a good day!

This morning I decided that I was not going to do ANY admin work at the center.  That meant I got to spend our three hour long morning being with the kids and our staff, WOOHOO!!!

On any Monday-Thursday morning from 8:30-11:30 there are various English, computer and playroom classes going on in the building.  Playroom is a unique setting where the boys come in for one hour at a time and sit in small groups of about 3-5 with one or two Khmer staff members.  During this hour the kids play with various legos, erector sets, playdough, race cars, do puzzles, read books....all while building relationships with our staff who are being trained in play therapy techniques.

Once a week we get a special treat when our friend Kim comes to visit! She and her family (husband and two sons) live in Cambodia and when she comes to the center she usually brings a fun science lesson to share with us! Once it was making volcanoes, another time we talked about the bones in our bodies and another we made kazoos out of straws! She also brings her sons with her-a 5 year old and a 3 year old.

Kim and her family have only been here for a few months so they are just beginning to learn the language.  This does not inhibit her boys from jumping right in and playing with "our" boys though! Today I was filled with gratitude, joy and....well, awe, really...as I watched her 5 year old son P. and one of our 9 year old boys, D., play together....

As soon as they saw each other this morning P. and D. began speaking with each other in the fragments of English D. has learned and Khmer P. has picked up.  They sat together in the "quiet room" and completed two puzzles.  It was so fun to watch because they were not just sitting next to each other working independently on different sections of the puzzles but they were truly cooperating to put together the entire picture.  These boys have only known each other for about 6 weeks and only interact once a week for an hour!  I LOVE the honesty of being a child and I especially love that these boys show each other kindness, acceptance and generosity.  This is what the Kingdom of God will be like....and even better :-)

Jesus tells us in Matthew 18 that unless we become like children we will not enter heaven.  I am so grateful for the opportunity He gave me to learn from these two today!  They do not even give any attention to their very obvious differences instead they saw their common goal and seized the opportunity to help one another, learn some new words from one another and have lots of fun together while doing these things!

Lord, would You help me to step out in courage in spite of the obvious differences....I long to enjoy simply living life alongside my brothers and sisters here without fear of mispronouncing a word, without hesitation at doing something differently than I've done in the past and without pride in ideas and theories that I think are THE right ones....I long to stand next to staff members and see these boys through YOUR eyes so we will see the same things in them, I want to stand with these boys You've put in front of me and hear YOUR words of Truth, Freedom and Promise for their lives so that I can join You in speaking them out in English and Khmer!

Verbally Processing the Past 48 Hours

I've said before that writing helps me to make sense of things. I'm a verbal processor and well, there are just a few less people for me to process with here so not only has the Lord been showing me in such wonderful ways that He always wants to hear my thoughts but He has also been reminding me of the outlet that writing can be.

The past 2 days have been filled with some pretty crazy things happening.....I'm warning you now that some of the things written below are not lighthearted and maybe you don't want to know, it's okay with me if you don't read this blog.  I just needed a place to make sense of the things that have going around in my mind.

Here is my attempt to begin to figure out all that happened during the past 48 hours....

• My Khmer sister prayed for my ear that had been stopped up with water, she also prayed for my eyes and thanked God for the leader that I am and for my heart for Cambodia....best part-she prayed in Khmer and I understood about 85% of it!
• Upon returning to work on Monday morning after a week off I was greeted by 5 of my favorite boys with hugs, high fives and "sok sabai, kinyom nuk Yvonne"'s (How are you? I missed you!)
• The Khmer fire marshal showed up unannounced (as many things are here) and proceeded to charge us money to purchase 2 additional fire extinguishers and stickers to put on all of our fire extinguishers which they will come back and reinspect in six months....
• I celebrated a dear friends 65th birthday at a new restaurant.  This lady amazes me....she grew up in Phnom Penh as part of a missionary family. She lived in N.Y.C. for 30 years. She lost her husband a few years ago and is now living in Phnom Penh again and working with us! Our Khmer staff call her "yay" which is a very endearing term for grandma :-)
• I found out that one of little girls at Wat Phnom has a broken leg from a moto accident!
• I ate cold chicken and rice for breakfast :-)
• I thought about studying Khmer
• I listened as Panha told me that one of the boys who had been sold for sex last march came to him this morning and told him that he is still being sexually abused at home. My heart broke and I had no clue as to what to do next. (Now though, twelve hours later, he will have a meeting with a trauma counselor tomorrow afternoon....positive steps in a positive direction....remembering that one day ALL THINGS will be made right...)
• During playroom I was served the BEST imaginary coffee, fried rice and duck egg by my favorite seller, K., and he didn't even charge me any money for my meal :-)
• The staff had a great "meeting" where we played a game much the opposite of Jenga-each person picked one block and had to stack on top of the person before them. We then used this game to teach about the Tower of Babel....so fun to watch 20 something year old Khmer guys laugh and get all nervous about the next block!
• I thought about studying Khmer (yep, I thought about it more than once...)
• I spent hours putting financial info into a spreadsheet....ugh!
• I clarified the words "cooperation" and "corporation" 
• I shared Oreos with Ruthie
• I ate an ice pop made of peach juice while listening to worship music....best 20 minutes ever....
• I watched as 15 boys eagerly crowded around a world map as we pointed out different countries.
• I prayed for wisdom, courage and eyes to see things as He sees them for myself and the staff as we deal with kids who are being sold, kids who steal, kids who don't respect things that belong to other people....kids who are creative, kids who are persistent, kids who WILL grow up to men of integrity...
• My 4 year old friend, P., and I had pork and rice for lunch.
• I watched the sunset out my kitchen window....sweet
• Was gonna study Khmer ten minutes before my lesson....then my "loke crew" (teacher) came 15 minutes early.....Hey, I thought about it
• I did the dishes and hung my clothes up to dry while Jesus and I talked about the awful things happening to that one family...and that other family....and this kid and that one....He reminded me that He is sovereign and that He cares for them and loves them even more than I could ever want to....

I'm glad He's in charge.  It means I can breathe. It means that at the end of the day things won't come crumbling to pieces around me....and, if it seems like they have....He'll show me what my part is in the repairing process as long as I'm listening.

Sea Cow

I have Khmer lessons twice a week and during the past two weeks when I have a lesson I've been speaking about 90% of the time in Khmer (dramatic increase in the amount of Khmer spoken!).

Tonight my "loke crew" (teacher) and I were talking about our day at work and he relayed a story that I was very proud of myself for understanding completely in Khmer (which was demonstrated when I laughed at the appropriate moment) and I think you'll enjoy this story as well.

No, I can't write a single Khmer symbol so my retelling will be done in English :-)

Today during an English lesson the teacher was using a children's book about manatees.  The book was being read entirely in English. The students, a group ranging in age from five to twelve, were really enjoying the book. They liked the pictures and were learning lots of new English vocabulary.

One page told about the fact that a manatee is also sometimes called a "sea cow" (I did not know that until today, did you??).  A five year old boy burst into hysterical laughter as this page was read.

Here's the thing, in Khmer when you speak the words "sea" and "cow" they have very different meanings than in English.

If you say the word "sea", in English phonetics just as it is written, you are saying "eat" in reference to an animal. Example, "the dog eats bones" would be "the dog sea bones" (well, okay, "the", "dog" and "bones" are not pronounced the same in Khmer...don't misunderstand and think Khmer is simple).

And, the word "cow", pronounced just as it is written, means.....pants.

Ahem....so...."the manatee is also called a sea cow".....and cue adorable five year old laughter as he pictures a manatee eating pants :-)

L-O-N-G Days Filled with Honor and Love

It's 6:15pm as I begin to type this. I'm sitting on my couch, watching an amazingly beautiful sunset out my window and feeling quite grateful that I got home early today.

Days have been l-o-n-g the past two weeks with an amazing, very energetic, Kingdom minded short term team here with us. Each day is jam packed with things to do and I do enjoy having so much to be part of! Last week, there was so much I wanted to come home and write about each day for all of you to read. But....I came home and tiredness and Modern Family won out on the nights when I didn't already have plans :-)

So tonight, I'll just write about today instead of trying to catch up on the past.  Maybe I'll get to some of those great stories, someday.

Today.....
I woke up at 5:15am and for those of you who have ever seen me before 8:30am, you are well aware that I was quite incoherent for a while.  I did, however, have an iced coffee since I cold brewed it last night and I listened to music for about an hour.  These things work miracles for my morning mood!

Rode a half hour to the boys center, arrived at 7:15, the team ate their breakfast of yogurt, fruit and pastries.

I like what's been happening at 7:30!  The team, us Western H.P.C. members and our 9 Khmer staff members (8 guys, 1 girl) all have a devotional time together that usually ends with about 20 minutes of worship (a few of our Khmer brothers are excellent worship leaders!) and prayer.

At 8:15 a small group heads out to Wat Phnom where they lead Kids Club for 2 hours followed by about an hour of family visits with some of our regular kids.

Another small group stays at the boys center and continues the painting, cleaning, organizing that has been going on.

My group was the group that got to go out into the neighborhood
this morning. I was particularly excited about today because we were going to visit a family I've come to love so much. I wrote about their story earlier this year here.

Things have begun to change for this precious family. My friend, Panha, who is also one of our Khmer staff members, led the mother and grandmother to the Lord about a month ago! They have also moved from where they were living on the streets to a room (it has walls, a roof and a bathroom) in one of the slum areas of the city.  Might be the slum but, it's certainly a step up from where they were....

I hadn't seen them yet since I've been back. The family consists of the mom, the grandma, the father (he's an alcoholic and not usually around) and 6 children ranging in age from 17 down to about 9 months. Three of the kids now attend school through another organization here.

We were going with the intention of teaching the women how to pray and bringing them a large plastic barrel for them to collect water in since their water only runs for about 4 hours per day.  They need water for many things during the day such as bathing, cooking, washing clothes....

When we arrived we were greeted by my 4-year old friend who should've been in school. We came to find out that this past weekend he had cut his hand on a nail in the door, this makes perfect sense to me, he's quite the active little guy!

Have no fear though-18-year old Panha to the rescue! I mean seriously, he has loved them persistently for the past year including when we found out some horrific news about them, he's led the adult females of this family to the Lord and he has been a social worker in helping them get their home and the kids into school!

Then today! Today he pulls out the first aid kit, puts on some gloves and cleans and bandages physical wounds! (Have I ever mentioned how very much I learn about Jesus from my Khmer brothers...well, be assured, I learn a ton).

So, we, all 7 of us plus the 5 members of the family who were home sat on the floor as Panha simultaneously told me to practice my Khmer with the family and fixed our young friend up.

And we did give them that barrel for the water too :-)

It was SO GOOD to be back in the same country, to be able to encourage not only Panha but also the rest of our Khmer staff. To not have to wait for Skype delays but to be able to look them in the eye and tell them that they are truly bringing His Kingdom into the darkness of this world....that's my absolute favorite part about being here in person.....

Phew, and that's just what I did before 11:30am!!

I'm honored to be here, honored to see His love for His people regardless of the language we speak, the choices we make and the way others perceive us....He loves us all the same.

First Month Back in Cambodia!

This first month back in Cambodia seems like it has gone by very quickly all of a sudden! Here are a few highlights from this month that I'd like to share with you:

-My roommate, Steph, and I were so blessed that we were able to come straight from the airport to our very own apartment! This arrangement was set up for us by our good friend, Ruthie with the help of one of my Khmer brothers, Panha. Our apartment is wonderful, we each have our own bedroom and bathroom, we get a beautiful breeze most days which is indeed a luxury and we even have (drumroll please....) a washing machine! Now, I can do my laundry and have it be dry all within 9 hours (as long as it doesn't rain!).

-I have had the opportunity to finally meet face to face with 3 friends who I have only known via the Internet. I'm constantly amazed at the connections the Lord allows me to make with people who He knows will either be blessings to me on this journey or who I will be able to bless in one way or another.

-It felt so good to go back to Kids Club. I was able to reconnect with some of the families I'd worked with last year, some of them have grown in healthy ways and others are still very much struggling.  The best part about returning to Kids Club was watching my Khmer brothers as they have become so much more capable of running the program with very minimal assistance from our foreign staff!

-The Hard Places Community has hired 5 more male Khmer staff members. I have enjoyed getting to know each of them this past month. Every one of them has a desire to see young boys being cared for, looked after, educated and most importantly, surrendered to the Lord.

Some things I'd love for you to join with me in prayer for include:

-Language! Oh goodness, being gone for 7 months has certainly taken its toll on my ability to communicate in Khmer. Please pray that I would not be discouraged by all I've temporarily forgotten and that I would not let fear stop me from speaking the Khmer I do know.

-that we (the H.P.C.) would all be patient with His timing for the renovations being made to the Boys Center building. We're all so excited about what the future holds that some days it's difficult to stand in the present needs of making our center safe and reliable.

I'm so glad that you are part of this adventure with me! Thank you very much for participating by reading these updates, sending encouraging words and praying with me.

Awkward Love

Lately, I've been reading A LOT.  I know, some of you are thinking, "Yvonne, you read A LOT all the time..." and, you're probably right. But, I've been reading specifically about love and how men and women have such different experiences with it. So, I guess the correct sentence should be, lately, I've been reading A LOT about love. I'm doing some specific research for the opening of the Boys Center in Camboida.
Lots of people out there have many more years of experience than I do so, for a while, I may just share with you the wisdom from others that stands out to me.

Here's another excerpt from John Eldredge and as for the parts that relate to women, I think I fully agree.  It is not easy for anyone, male or female, to love others and to open ourselves up to the vulnerabilities that come with it.
But, I'm sure gonna keep on tryin' cause it is so worth it for the relationships that grow and mature...

"Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships including marriages. There are ebbs and flows. There may be real hurt and disappointment. But with the grace of God firmly holding us, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships. We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of others. We need one another. God knows that. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and, in faith, to love. We must also repent.

Christianity, as it currently exists, has done some terrible things to men. When all is said and done, I think most men in the church believe that God put them on the earth to be a good boy. The problem with men, we are told, is that they don't know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But, if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming . . . a nice guy. That's what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys. We don't smoke, drink, or swear; that's what makes us men. Now let me ask my male readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Prince of your dreams dashing . . . or merely nice?)

Really now-do I overstate my case? Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask yourself this question: What is a Christian man? Don't listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt about it. You'd have to admit a Christian man is . . . bored. At a recent church retreat I was talking with a guy in his fifties, listening really, about his own journey as a man. "I've pretty much tried for the last twenty years to be a good man as the church defines it." Intrigued, I asked him to say what he thought that was. He paused for a long moment. "Dutiful," he said. "And separated from his heart." A perfect description, I thought. Sadly right on the mark.

Men enjoy relationships in which we are challenged, relationships that require more from us than the church expects. As men we long to protectors, we were made to stand up for truth, justice, righteousness.  The enemy of our souls wants us to believe that our voice is not needed-this is a lie.  The enemy wants us to bellieve that our passion in life is evil-this is a lie.

For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her. Fallen Eve demands that people "come through" for her. Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed. Fallen Eve has been wounded by others and withdraws in order to protect herself from further harm. Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship. Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers . . . of love is Hell. (C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves)"

(Wild at Heart, 7-8, The Sacred Romance, 44, Captivating, 181-82)

TraffickJam2011-The Need for a Boys Center in Cambodia

Some of you already know this but, I lived in Cambodia for 6 months last year and am planning on returning long term this coming June.

One of the major projects I worked on while there was to begin a program that provides a safe place for young boys in Phnom Penh who are at risk of being sold for sex or who are already being sold.  I got to meet and build relationships with 26 boys between the ages of 4 and 14.  Each of these boys would come to the Kids Club program I helped to begin.  The program was held Monday-Friday for 2 hours.  We would play games, sing songs, make crafts, share a Bible story, eat snack together and simply get to know each other! These were always my FAVORITE 2 hours of the day!!!

The next step for this project is for the Hard Places Community to open our own center for these boys! In order to do this we need quite a bit of funding.

Will you consider taking part in a nationwide Walk-A-Thon to raise funds for us to be able to open our Boys Center this summer?

This event is open to ANYONE IN ANY STATE in the U.S. 

All you need to do is 

1. Sign up on the TraffickJam Website or email the coordinator listed for your State

2.  Have a group of friends (your colleagues at work, your church, your friends on campus....whoever you want!) who want to participate with you 

3.  Choose a 10 mile route in your area (if you are the coordinator for your area)

4.  Ask at least 10.people to sponsor you $10!

You will receive all kinds of support along the way, flyers to give out to people and sponsor envelopes. Each member of your team will  also get a t-shirt :-) 

If you are interested or have questions please let me know or go straight to the TraffickJam Website. You can also "like" us on our Facebook page.

This blog, the website and the Facebook page all have stories about boys who we are currently working with, so please feel free to read them and pass them on!

We are hoping to get at least one group of walkers from EVERY STATE so, even if you can't participate, please spread the word! Pass this email along, post it to your Facebook/Twitter page...help get the word out.

Thank you so much for considering how you can help bring an end to modern day slavery by partnering with TraffickJam!

Here is a video that presents our vision....

Let me know what you think and please contact me with any questions at all!

Prayer is a Weapon...And a Choice.

Yesterday morning I read that great article on prayer and posted it here.  I was so encouraged! I was reminded of how very powerful prayer truly is and was inspired to begin to wield this weapon I've been so freely given and yet use so rarely.

And, I did pray more yesterday than I have on other days.  I found myself praying about all kinds of things throughout my day.  I prayed for my roomate's car as she took it to the shop, I found myself praying for the staff of the church I attend, I prayed for a friend who is a sophomore in college and just beginning to realize how very big the world is and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, I prayed for grace and favor to be with another friend who is trying to manage his finances well to be able to do all the things God's put on his heart to do (like return to Cambodia this summer!)....Okay, so I prayed more yesterday than I have on other days (mind you, all these prayers were quite sporadic during the day-each one lasting anywhere from about 4-7 minutes....don't think I was like spending hours upon hours with God...which would have been great but, maybe that'll happen another day).

Then, last night at about 8:00 which is 9:00am in Cambodia my mind drifted to Phnom Penh and Svay Pak.  This is very common, I often wonder about what my friends are doing on the other side of the world.  And, thanks to technology, one of my American teammates in Cambodia was online and we began chatting on Facebook.  I really enjoy being able to connect with her so frequently, it helps me to stay in the loop with what's happening there and it's a great outlet for the both of us as we struggle with things that only those who've been there and experienced firsthand can relate to.

Earlier that morning I'd read an email update from another teammate.  Because it was sent out en mass the details of some stories were vague.  I began to ask questions about a situation that was described in the update.  My friend proceeded to confirm the truth of a situation we'd all been desperately hoping was not reality. Turns out that two of our youngest kids from the Wat Phnom ministry are indeed being sold nightly.  They are both boys, a 6-year old and a 4-year old.

A 4-year old boy who, even when we do have enough evidence and can catch the bad guy, HAS NO PLACE TO GO.  There is not a safe place for boys in Phnom Penh, let alone one where the eternal hope and healing of Jesus is offered.  Yet....

There is not a safe place for boys in Cambodia yet.  There will be because God has given us (the Hard Places Community) His dream for a place of refuge for little ones like this boy and the many others whose stories are very similar to his.  TraffickJam2011 has a mighty purpose in fulfilling this dream....And, I'm excited to see how He will provide!

But, last night and this morning I find myself with a truly broken heart (again).  I wept so hard last night, my stomach hurt and I was so angry at the evil of this fallen world.  Then I remembered about the weapon I've been given....and I was faced with such a clear choice: would I choose to believe that prayer was no match for this horrid situation that is only one of millions and be overcome by despair and hopelessness? Or, would I choose to bravely use what I've been given, knowing that it is prayer that ultimately moves heaven and earth?...not simply my words but my words being added to the power of the One who hears my pleas, the One whose heart is broken so much more than mine will ever be?  Would I belive that if I pray, if I choose to let my prayers rise to His throne with the countless other prayers that surely flood that place on behalf of the same issue, that He would hear and that things will change?

Yikes.  Big decision.  I chose to pray....I prayed through my tears, I cried, I yelled, I was angry, I was hurting. But, I went to my King, the One who has true power and authority in this world. And, I believe that He heard me and I trust that He knows best. His word tells me so; "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."-Isaiah 55:8-9.

Sometimes I want to stop feeling, I want to pretend that the little ones He's allowed to know and love in Cambodia are just fine, to not read the updates from teamates....But, my God promises to honor the sacrifice of a broken heart...so I'll continue to seek His heart and walk with Him...Psalm 51:15-17 "O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You don't delight in sacrifice or I'd bring it; You don't delight in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you won't despise."

Today, I'll choose to pray.....because it's what I can do right here, right now.

YOU Have an Important Role to Fulfill!

I came across this article written by Benjamin Nolot who has served in Cambodia and wrote this for an organization called ExodusCry whose mission is to see modern day slavery come to an end. They advocate prayer as the powerful weapon it truly is! I hope that this article spurs you to pray....simply to pray.  Not only for those in Cambodia I've been telling you about but, for people in any place around the world who are oppressed.  Prayer is our most powerful weapon regardless of the shape the enemy takes on.

"After first becoming exposed to the realities of modern-day slavery, people’s common reaction is, “What can I do?” Instantly, people imagine that they have to raid a brothel in Cambodia or witness to a prostitute in Vegas in order to have a real impact. Yet, what is often forgotten in the abolition equation is the very real and integral component of prayer.

Prayer is not just a means for abolition. It is the central means.

In Luke 18 Jesus gives us a key insight into abolition. Through parable, He tells us how God brings justice into unjust situations. As the wisest, most knowledgeable man ever to walk the earth, He could have said many things about this subject. He could have offered us some wisdom in lawmaking or a ‘how-to’ on building judicial systems. He could have given us strategies on outreach or on how to feed the poor. But instead, He highlighted just one simple thing: prayer. Jesus taught that “speedy justice” would come in response to “day and night” prayer (Lk. 18:7-8).

Prayer connects us to the heart of God, defeats the spiritual forces of darkness behind slavery, and releases God’s healing presence in the hearts of those who have been traumatized and exploited––all things we could never do in our own strength.

Past abolitionists have proven the effect of prayer. Four men, in particular, come to mind when thinking about abolitionists through history: Moses, Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, and William Wilberforce. If there’s one defining characteristic that each of these men possessed, it was a life of prayer.

It was through prayer that Moses released the plagues in Egypt that brought about the great exodus of the enslaved Jews.

Jesus routinely spent entire nights in prayer before performing great miracles that set people free.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient.”

William Wilberforce warned, “Of all things, guard against neglecting God in the secret place of prayer.”

These men were completely dependent on God to bring about the abolition they all so deeply longed for. If we want to be the abolitionists that these men were, we must embrace the God-ordained means of abolition. Prayer wasn’t just a precursor to their abolition. It was their abolition.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom in suburban America or a full-time practitioner in Southeast Asia, everyone can be an active abolitionist through prayer." -Benjamin Nolot

Learning of the Pain That Comes With Love

Oh gosh.....I just don't really know where to even begin....

At the bottom of this post is a video of a the song, "I Saw What I Saw" by Sara Groves.  Her lyrics seem to meet my emotions quite perfectly these days.  Once again, I'm reminded of what a wonderful gift music is and am so grateful for skilled writers!

I want to be able to share stories with you about my recent trip to Cambodia.  The problem is, right now, all I can think of  are the stories that are not so fun to tell :-(

I mean, I can still share them with you. And, maybe they will even lead you to greater times of prayer for the people I know and love or maybe they will give you the courage to share some of your own "not so fun to tell" stories.  That would be a good thing, right?

While in Phnom Penh I was able to see many of the people I'd hoped to reconnect with.  There was one big difference in being there this time though.  It was like I was  able to feel all the emotions that were alive around me for the first time.  I think that while I was living there for nearly 6 months I simply let every part of my life become routine and in doing so was able to stop myself from feeling the raw emotions that could have easily accompanied any given day.

Returning to Kids Club at Wat Phnom was so great....for the first ten minutes. Then, I just found myself sitting in the middle (quite literally, they were ALL OVER ME) of a group of 20 kids who I've spent countless hours with.  But, this time I felt pain.  It was painful to watch as my 4 year old friend so easily went up to any stranger and asked for....wel, anything he could get really.  This is how he and his 6 year old sister spend their days-begging for food, money, water.  All of a sudden the reality that this is NOT right came crashing down on top of me as never before.  It was painful to think about what happens each night (drug deals, transvestites selling themselves, currupt police officers adding to the chaos, children wandering aimlessly and unsupervised....oh, the list could go on....) in the very park where we have club each day.  THIS IS WHERE THESE SWEET ONES ARE GROWING UP.  And, it hurt, a lot. 

I visited my friends in Svay Pak, the village where I'd spent every morning, the very same village that was written about in Gary Haugen's book, Terrify No More. From June through October I would arrive each morning with any of my various teamates and we would be blown away at the joy with which we were met!  Our students were eager to learn, the  younger kids were LOUDLY singing whatever the newest Bible song was that they'd been taught the afternoon before and the young women along with the Pastor's wife were all chatting and laughing in the kitchen as they prepared for lunch later that day....always lots of fun! This time though, I was met by my dear friends who are still grieving the loss of their son, Daniel, earlier this year.  The reality of such strong leadership mourning was thick and heavy (as mourning usually is).  One of my brothers there told me about his 30 year old sister-in-law who had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer and sent home to die.  We prayed-he prayed for my eyes and I prayed for his family. This morning I got an email telling me that his sister-in-law, Pov, has gone to be with Jesus. I cried...and will probably cry some more.  

My mind is too tired to keep making sense of the things I felt during my short visit.  Maybe in a few days I'll have the energy for more.....

For now, please join with me in prayer in whatever way you feel led.  Thank you for coming along for the journey...it's certainly not over yet.

And, it certainly does not end in despair.  My God is a Redeemer and He is already redeeming in Cambodia.  I will continue to look for the hope in each story. And I also promise that I won't be afraid to share some of pain as well....I believe that He allows us to feel the pain so that we will be able to experience joy in all of its fullness. 


Yes, Lord, I will live with the pain for a time because I KNOW the joy of Your glory in every circumstance is more than worth it!

Just 10 Days

Well, my flight back to Cambodia leaves at 6:25am tomorrow! I will stay there for about 10 days and arrive back in Kansas City on Tuesday, January 25th.  Although I'm not headed back for an indefinite amount of time as originally planned I am still very excited about this trip.  I just spent some time with Jesus asking Him about what He has for me during this seemingly very short stay in Phnom Penh.  These are some of the things He shared with me and they really encouraged me so I thought I'd share them with you.


I will spend my time doing a number of things, most of which are directly related to connecting with people who I've grown to know and love through various means; some are children I have the privilege of spending time with as I help to lead Kids Club at Wat Phnom, some are young adults who I've been honored to get to know through teaching English and some are simply friends and colleagues who I'm so blessed to get to live life alongside while I'm there.


I will be able to have a direct hand in transitioning Kids Club to a group of American women who all have made 2 year commitments to Cambodia.  I'm very grateful to be able to pass the baton of this program to people who I know will be able to see it through for a while as opposed to a short term group who would then leave and cause the kids to go through even more changes.  I have been allowed to get to know these kids, to visit some of their homes, to take them on outings, to watch their attitudes towards us as leaders transform  from one of indifference into one where they all eagerly line the street each day waiting for us to show up!  They've all secured themselves in my heart in a very special way and I can't wait to be back in Cambodia this summer with a long term goal of helping to get the Boys Center running!


I will have the opportunity to meet with some of the teens and young adults who I taught English.  I will be able to tell them in person why I am not coming back right now.  My prayer is that through this they will not just see another person who came into their world for a moment and then pulled out because they had things to get back to somewhere else.  When I shared my testimony with them in Svay Pak I told them that I was sharing my story so that we could become friends.  I had no intentions of challenging them to offer their lives to Jesus and then leaving them to wonder at what that really meant.  I told them that I'd be available, that I WANTED, to walk out the journey with them.  And, that is still what I feel the Lord has for me in some of those relationships.  So, it will be very good for me to be able to keep true to my word and to not give them any reason to think that I have chosen to run away from their questions.  It is by our love that the world will know we are His....


Hopefully, I will be able to get some video footage of some of my Hard Places teammates speaking about the issues facing young boys in Cambodia.  I'd also like to get on video a testimony of one of the young men I've met who has given his life to Jesus and is now standing fiercely and firmly against the powers of deception and darkness that once ruled his life.  The powers that still have a strong grip on the lives of so many in Cambodia....but, that WILL change one day, one day soon.  Jesus is raising up a generation of people in Cambodia who are standing up for the Truth, speaking out on behalf of the oppressed and fighting for justice to reign.


I will also be able to share with those I value dearly as brothers and sisters in the Kingdom, both Americans as well as Khmer, the very personal way that the Lord has asked me to follow Him in seeking out His best for my eyesight.  This is not going to be an easy thing for me to give attention to during the next few months and I know that I will not be able to do it alone.  My tendancy will be to push it aside and spend all of my energy in other places.  I do see it as a gigantic, gracious, blessing from the Lord that He is providing me with an outlet to continue to pour into the Boys Center as I travel to promote TraffickJam. But, I am fully aware that this opportunity presented itself only after I chose to yield when He asked me to fight for my eyesight.  I value very highly and covet the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Cambodia along with all of yours as well.


Yes, just 10 days.  10 days that when completed will allow me to come back to the States with a feeling of peace, a knowledge that I did my part in honoring the people I've met and love.  I pray that I will come back feeling settled, settled into this new part of the adventure.  Not only settled but, even anticipating that He is going to meet me in every step, that He has something so specific and so important for the rest of my journey here on this earth, that I MUST be here in order to live out the rest in a way that will bring only more glory to Him.  I'm expecting to learn so much more about who He is and how He cares for people as I submit to Him in what He asks of me concerning my eyesight.  And, I'm excited about all of the things I'll experience, all of the people I'll meet and all of the stories I'll have to share as I promote TraffickJam!


I can't wait...... :-)

Out of my hands

Tonight as I type this I am trying so very hard to cling to sanity....


I had it all planned out. I would come back to the States for 2 months to raise awareness about the Boys Center in Cambodia and to let people here know that I would be going back there for an indefinite amount of time to help get the Center up and running.  Then I was presented with the choice to stay in the States and take of care of my own eyesight or ignore it and go back to Cambodia.  I heard the Lord tell me where He wanted me for now.  Then I thought I'd go back to Cambodia for 2 weeks on the end of my round trip ticket and buy a one way back to the States.  Now, the numbers of a ticket price are higher than the numbers in my bank account.  So again I'm asking Him what He has for me in this....


I do know that He does have a way for me to still be connected to the thing that was drawing me back to Cambodia in the first place and for this I'm so grateful.....
The Boys Center is something that I am passionate about maybe even beyond what words can tell you.  After living in Phnom Penh for almost six months and establishing relationships with over 30 kids who have been coming to Kids Club that I, along with Khmer and other westerners, lead each afternoon,


I have seen the faces, learned the names, heard the stories, visited the homes and shared meals with a group of people who have found their way into my heart like no others.  At the core of this group of people are some boys who have a need and Jesus has asked me to partner with Him so it can be met.


The numbers tell us that 1 out of every 6 boys, worldwide, is sexually molested before the age of 16.  In Cambodia, where human trafficking is not just a cause to be talked about but, a reality that happens to people with faces to be seen and stories to be told, young boys are being sold into lives of torture.  Jesus is not okay with this and neither am I.  A 24/7 Boys Center will be started in Phnom Penh-a place where can receive nutritious meals, learn life skills that will afford them wonderful job opportunities and, as time goes on, they will learn that they are safe and will be able to begin not only a process of healing but the process of redemption over their lives.....


I could type all day about the dreams I have for this place....And, maybe sometime soon I'll do just that.


But, for now, I'm trying to keep my eyes on Him.  As the things I thought were certain to happen are being shifted more and more each day (especially during the past 2 weeks) I want to be able to continue to trust Him.


Instead of magnifying the problems in Cambodia I want my life to magnify Him and His dreams for their future.


Rather than exalting the schemes and deceptions of darkness in the lives of the Khmer people I want my life to exalt His glory in their country and the ways He miraculously provides for their every need.


As it seems like my plans have changed (and are still changing) I will remind myself that He never changes.  His plan has always been for me to be right here, right now, typing this sentence.


When I don't understand things happening around me I often turn to music.  The words and emotions that others have experienced remind me that I am not alone, that it is okay to not know and most of all that it is good to be honest because that is how others are encouraged to honesy.


Maybe this song will encourage you today, maybe something you've just read will encourage you and maybe you'll be able to encourage someone else by sharing with them....