Live Loved

There are those times in life when God teaches me something brand new about something that I thought was so simple.  Recently, this has happened with the idea of being loved by God as opposed to pitied by others.  

What does it actually mean, actually look like to live as a person who is fully confident that they are loved by God?  Always.  No matter what else is going on around us.  Regardless of what ANYone tells us or says about us.  Whether we feel loved or not in any given moment.

I think the words, "any given moment" are key to this thing.  At least for how my journey with being loved by God is taking shape.  Many days I can only live loved (with any type of confidence) on a moment by moment basis.  And those moments are so full of power!

A few weeks ago God helped me discover, quite unexpectedly, the biggest lie that sets itself up every day to oppose the Truth that I'm loved by God.  I was sitting with one of my favorite friends on my bench swing on the front balcony of my 4th floor apartment here in Phnom Penh.  It was a really beautiful Friday morning; there was a breeze and birds could be heard singing instead of construction noise or wedding/funeral music and I was totally delighting in it! We began to talk about identity and the conversation progressed into the question, "Why don't you fully believe you're loved by God?" My answer came with such speed that it kind of shocked me. 

"Well, usually what stops me from believing I'm loved is the thought that I'm only pitied by people, not loved." Whoa.... Wait.... Did I really just say that??? So fast??? Yikes.  I didn't really know that was in there....  And so we talked about it a bit, me and my friend.  

Pity is defined as, "A feeling of sorrow for the misfortune of others, a cause for regret or disappointment."  I do not like pity.  I do not like others to define my circumstances as misfortune.  I've never liked pity and even more so since I have been following Jesus. Me and Jesus get to decide what my circumstances are and He never tells me that they are, "misfortune"

According to the standards of this world I have a disability.  I'm legally blind and have been since I was 2 years old.  And, reality is, it does limit me- I cannot play any contact sports (basically all this leaves me with as options are bowling and golf....super cool when you're a kid in school!), I can't speed read (I really wanted to take that class in high school, seriously, I thought it would be an awesome skill to have! But, I failed that and art 3 times) and I can't legally drive (although, I might have some friends who've let drive in parking lots...). Okay, so limitations, right? Well, I grew up quite determined to not live as if I were limited in any way and the pity I felt from other people only added fuel to that fire.  I saw friends' parents pity me because I wan't included in lots of the "fun stuff" of recess games and bumper car birthday parties.  I saw teachers pity me because I never could fully learn to write in cursive and couldn't copy my own notes from the blackboard and couldn't watch movies with the class when they would roll that tiny tv in on a cart.  They felt disappointed because I didn't fit the expectations.  But, if I hadn't picked up on their pity I would have been quite content.  Instead, I became very aware that I couldn't do this or that.

This played out in other areas of my life as well.  For example, I come from a very unstable home life- people pitied me because I didn't have clean clothes (they didn't help, they just talked about it above my 7 year old head as if I couldn't hear them), pitied because my parents were divorced and couldn't act civil in public and pitied when at 15 I finally became a foster child along with my younger brothers because our mom wasn't being responsible.  

I was always making lots of efforts to live in a way that wouldn't give others reason to declare my life "disappointing" or to feel "regret" over the "misfortune" of my situations.  Which leads us back to that morning on my bench swing a few weeks ago... 

I told my friend these things.  I told him all the lies the enemy of my soul has made me believe all these years. I told him how each time someone does something caring for me I still would wrestle with the question, "Do they love me or pity me?" He listened. He didn't argue with me or try to prove God's love to me. He didn't pity me by saying how disappointed he was for me or how sad this was... Instead he gave me options.  

He encouraged me to action.  He told me I could change the way I doubted love and called it pity.  He empowered me by drawing me closer to Jesus.  

"For I have drawn you with loving-kindness, I have loved you with an everlasting love," says the Lord." (Jeremiah 31:3) are the words my friend read to me right before he asked me if I wanted to pray. He had no idea that verse was the verse from 14 years ago that caused me to begin to believe that God could actually love me in a personal way.  He wasn't asking me to pray just any prayer, this was very intentional.  He asked me to pray how I feel when I live in the lie of being pitied and then to declare the Truth.

I found myself saying things like, 

"God, when I believe I'm broken and pitied it makes me doubt Your goodness."

"When I believe I'm pitied instead of loved it makes me doubt Your plans for my life."

"It makes me doubt who You are." 

"It makes me doubt the people You've placed in my life"

"It makes me doubt who You say I am"

"Doubting leads me to pity my own self..."

GROSS. YUCK. ICK. GET OUT OF HERE YOU LIES!!!!!!

And then, then the Truth came....

"God, I want Your help to believe I'm loved"

"I want to see You in people first. You are in the people You have put in my life."

"God, You set up circumstances in my life because You love me. When people are at the right place at the moments when I need help it's because You love me, not because they pity me"

"When I choose to live out of being loved I see You in every part of my life."  

YES! WOOHOO!! TRUTH!!! TRUTH THAT SETS FREE AND CHANGES THINGS!!!! 

Jesus changed me during that time of prayer.  Not because I woke up the next morning and every thought I had was grounded in His love for me.   That's not what happened.  Sometimes, that is what God does but not this time.  That pity lie has been comfortable for almost 30 years and it is taking some W-O-R-K to get rid of it.  I ask God to help me recognize when I'm about to believe pity and then I make a real choice to let go of that assumption believe love instead.  It's an every moment kind of journey for me.  And, I'm being set free each time I choose to live loved.

Waiting With Jesus on Easter

"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.  It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:25-26

During the past 17 years of knowing Jesus Easter is still my very favorite holiday.  It may have been my favorite as kid, too because it was so full of FUN- coloring eggs together on Saturday night (each person would get an egg with their name on it, even our multiple pets!), waking up on Sunday to discover an Easter basket full of jelly beans, chocolate and marshmallow Peeps and then the hunt to find all those eggs that had been hidden (Mom always had to write a list of where they were because there were so many!). Later in the day cousins and grandparents and the drug dealers who had become like family would all come to our house and we'd eat a big meal and....well, things usually went downhill after that. There was always all the fun first though and each year brought with it the hope that the holiday would end differently than the year before. 

And now, even more as an adult, I love what Easter means! A day set aside to celebrate what Jesus has done for us, WOOHOO!!! Literally, I can not and do not even want to imagine my life without Him. He CONQUERED DEATH and went through such extreme torture and torment to do it. I can only find hope and love in Him because of that.  He endured pain to the point of sweating blood and I have never experienced that kind of pain, this tells me that He understands pain that is more unbearable than I can conceive which means that He certainly understands all of the pain I go through.  That's comforting.  I really, really, really love Jesus and celebrating Him.  

So, I go to church on Easter and I worship, sing victory and shout hallelujah with all of my very being because I get what He has done for me! I know without a doubt that my life is worth living, that He is worthy of praise, He deserves glory that compares to none other!!! He lights my paths, He gives me deep rooted joy, He reigns over my whole life so I can experience peace, He sees me as holy and righteous because of who He is!!! 

Yes, let's celebrate Jesus!!!

And yet... I'm still waiting for more.  And so is He.  It's Sunday, He rose from the grave, He is alive, alive forevermore and I will be with Him for eternity.... But, there's more... Jesus and me, we are waiting. Together. For more. 

We, me and Jesus, are waiting on this day of celebrating His resurrection.... 

We are waiting for loved ones to recognize the gift He gave.   

Jesus' loved ones who He gave His life for. 

My loved ones.  

And perhaps you are waiting with Jesus too for some loved ones to recognize the celebration.  

The sweet, good news is we don't wait alone you and I... 

We wait with Him. 

My heart aches so much on Easter.  Seriously aches, like the kind of ache you get from wisdom teeth times infinity.... I long for the ones close to my heart, the ones God designed to be so close to my heart, to know Him.  If only they would choose to taste for just a second how much better He makes life, they would not be able to deny Him so easily.  "Choose", though, that word is important for my heart to remember this Easter.  Jesus gave this gift out of love, He doesn't force anyone to take what He offers.  Instead He waits for each person to look at Him and receive the best gift ever.  Receiving involves choice.  And, just as my heart has that wisdom-tooth-times-infinity-ache His heart aches even more because He knows fully and completely what He has given.  

It's so comforting to know that He waits, He understands the pain, He has His own longings for the ones I love because He loves them.  He won't quit waiting either. He will never give up, He has already proven that through His suffering.  I don't wait alone and when I'm weary from waiting (like today) He encourages me through His own waiting.  

So, yep, me and Jesus we will wait together for our loved ones to join us in celebrating resurrection.  Jesus waits with you too.  He knows your longing, He knows your aching (maybe yours isn't like wisdom teeth but maybe you describe it as bumping your funny bone or stubbing your toe or maybe even a migraine....whatever the pain is like He gets it and He aches too) and He is with you in it.  

"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.  It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:25-26

Injustice is Injustice But We Can Help

For the past few weeks Wednesdays have been a day for me to catch up on life outside of Cambodia, to send emails to friends, to see photos of new babies, to dream about and plan for a trip to China.... It's been a much needed break from the "normal" things of my life here.  I'm very aware, on a daily basis, of the insane amount of injustice that takes place here in Phnom Penh.  And, most of the time it's injustice that hits on a personal note of some form; a 5-year old who is sold for sex so his family can eat for the next few days, a 13-year old who has been abused and now rapes his 10 year old friends stealing their virginity, a young woman who chooses not to go to school because she has been offered a job making $1/.hour, a 12-year old who has been told to stop going to school so he can stay at home and take care of his mentally unstable mother.....

But wait, it's Wednesday morning here in Cambodia-taking a break, right? Yes.  I've just skyped with some friends who are moving here in about 4 months.  Then I read and replied to a few emails and commented on a Facebook photo of a beautiful new babl boy... And, I was just getting ready to write an update of my own to send out to many of you...

However, I came across a video that caught my attention.  It was entitled "KONY 2012".  I clicked play and waited a while as it downloaded.  When I started watching I wasn't aware how long it was but I watched the entire 30 minutes.  This video reminded me of something I became very passionate about back in 2006.  Do you remember the "Invisible Children" campaign? It was a venue to bring awareness about the atrocities happening to children in Uganda.  They were (still are) being abducted by a man named Joseph Kony and forced to kill. This man steals from children their families, their safety, their consciences and ultimately their freedom.  This has been going on for 26 years now. It is injustice.

So, this morning I thought I was going to take a mini break from the injustice happening right outside my apartment.  And, in a way, I did.

But I was reminded that injustice is injustice.  It is not a respecter of...anything.  By its nature injustice attempts to destroy respect, dignity, freedom, hope, joy....it is the ultimate ploy of our enemy.

Yes, I live in Cambodia and I personally know some people who are suffering horrific injustice, even today as I type.  And, there are people in Africa who are also victims of injustice. And in India.  And in Mexico. And in America.  And....all over the world.

I know that it's not my job to fix any of these things.  It's not your job either.  It is our privileged responsibility to ask Him, the One who gave His life to bring justice into our lives, what He wants us to do along side Him.  I'm very passionate about seeing freedom and justice brought to the ones I love here in Cambodia. I am also passionate about seeing justice brought in the way of capture to Joseph Kony.  I am passionate about justice.

So, I will post videos on behalf of Ugandan children.

I will send finances to missionaries in Nepal.

I will sign petitions on behalf of the oppressed in Guatemala.

 I will live in Cambodia with Khmer people.  

I will visit Ukrainian orphans.  

 I will always do whatever Jesus asks of me when He stirs my heart to move towards justice.  

Cambodia is not my "cause", ending human trafficking is not my "goal" but bringing justice- be it to the individual standing in front of me or to the masses on the other side of the world-

in whatever way He asks of me is what I will do.

What is He asking of you today? Watch a video and become more informed? Write a check? Spend some time praying? Call a senator? Perform a random act of kindness? Befriend a foreigner? Speak His words of truth and life to someone who is hurting? Ask Him and He'll tell you how you can help.....

"But let justice roll on like a river, 
   righteousness like a never-failing stream!"-Amos 5:24

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. 
   And what does the LORD require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy 
   and to walk humbly^[a] with your God." -Micah 6:8

Verbally Processing the Past 48 Hours

I've said before that writing helps me to make sense of things. I'm a verbal processor and well, there are just a few less people for me to process with here so not only has the Lord been showing me in such wonderful ways that He always wants to hear my thoughts but He has also been reminding me of the outlet that writing can be.

The past 2 days have been filled with some pretty crazy things happening.....I'm warning you now that some of the things written below are not lighthearted and maybe you don't want to know, it's okay with me if you don't read this blog.  I just needed a place to make sense of the things that have going around in my mind.

Here is my attempt to begin to figure out all that happened during the past 48 hours....

• My Khmer sister prayed for my ear that had been stopped up with water, she also prayed for my eyes and thanked God for the leader that I am and for my heart for Cambodia....best part-she prayed in Khmer and I understood about 85% of it!
• Upon returning to work on Monday morning after a week off I was greeted by 5 of my favorite boys with hugs, high fives and "sok sabai, kinyom nuk Yvonne"'s (How are you? I missed you!)
• The Khmer fire marshal showed up unannounced (as many things are here) and proceeded to charge us money to purchase 2 additional fire extinguishers and stickers to put on all of our fire extinguishers which they will come back and reinspect in six months....
• I celebrated a dear friends 65th birthday at a new restaurant.  This lady amazes me....she grew up in Phnom Penh as part of a missionary family. She lived in N.Y.C. for 30 years. She lost her husband a few years ago and is now living in Phnom Penh again and working with us! Our Khmer staff call her "yay" which is a very endearing term for grandma :-)
• I found out that one of little girls at Wat Phnom has a broken leg from a moto accident!
• I ate cold chicken and rice for breakfast :-)
• I thought about studying Khmer
• I listened as Panha told me that one of the boys who had been sold for sex last march came to him this morning and told him that he is still being sexually abused at home. My heart broke and I had no clue as to what to do next. (Now though, twelve hours later, he will have a meeting with a trauma counselor tomorrow afternoon....positive steps in a positive direction....remembering that one day ALL THINGS will be made right...)
• During playroom I was served the BEST imaginary coffee, fried rice and duck egg by my favorite seller, K., and he didn't even charge me any money for my meal :-)
• The staff had a great "meeting" where we played a game much the opposite of Jenga-each person picked one block and had to stack on top of the person before them. We then used this game to teach about the Tower of Babel....so fun to watch 20 something year old Khmer guys laugh and get all nervous about the next block!
• I thought about studying Khmer (yep, I thought about it more than once...)
• I spent hours putting financial info into a spreadsheet....ugh!
• I clarified the words "cooperation" and "corporation" 
• I shared Oreos with Ruthie
• I ate an ice pop made of peach juice while listening to worship music....best 20 minutes ever....
• I watched as 15 boys eagerly crowded around a world map as we pointed out different countries.
• I prayed for wisdom, courage and eyes to see things as He sees them for myself and the staff as we deal with kids who are being sold, kids who steal, kids who don't respect things that belong to other people....kids who are creative, kids who are persistent, kids who WILL grow up to men of integrity...
• My 4 year old friend, P., and I had pork and rice for lunch.
• I watched the sunset out my kitchen window....sweet
• Was gonna study Khmer ten minutes before my lesson....then my "loke crew" (teacher) came 15 minutes early.....Hey, I thought about it
• I did the dishes and hung my clothes up to dry while Jesus and I talked about the awful things happening to that one family...and that other family....and this kid and that one....He reminded me that He is sovereign and that He cares for them and loves them even more than I could ever want to....

I'm glad He's in charge.  It means I can breathe. It means that at the end of the day things won't come crumbling to pieces around me....and, if it seems like they have....He'll show me what my part is in the repairing process as long as I'm listening.

Different Lives, Same God

Today a very sobering thought came to my mind.

I spent an hour this evening with one of my Khmer friends. The original intention was for me to be learning the language during this hour. But, my friend certainly had a lot on his mind.  Thoughts of a sibling who recently had dengue fever and spent a few days in the hospital setting the family back a bit financially, thoughts about a test tomorrow, thoughts of decisions that will effect the future, thoughts about responsibilities at work, thoughts of clients we both work with who are having a rough time right now....By no means an easy load to be carrying.

And, when my lesson (which, today, was more of a good conversation with my younger brother about life) was over he left to go home. It was pouring rain and he drove his moto about 20 minutes to get there.

So, he left and I walked into my bedroom.....and that's when I was hit with reality.

You see, I so desperately wanted to tell my friend to go home and get some rest, some time alone, some down time.  I wanted him to get to a physical place where he could truly rest. But, I didn't say that because even as I thought it I knew it wasn't possible for him.

And yet, there I stood in my LARGE bedroom, so large it's almost the size of where he, his 3 brothers and parents all live together.  It was quiet in my room. I had a fan on and could've even turned on the air con if I'd wanted to. I could set my iPod to a worship playlist and drown out the rest of Cambodia. I could peacefully sit on my balcony and enjoy the rain not having to worry about my apartment flooding.

And, 20 minutes away people I know and love live such a different life....in fact, I'm sure that quite less than 20 minutes away people God loves live quite a different life than I do.

I grew up in inner city America.  Until I was in my 20's I thought living life was about surviving, at best!  Each day was a new challenge to "make do with what ya got". Don't even bother having wants, dreams, needs that are beyond what's right in front of you because nobody will listen and there's no way to make things any better.

During college I began to understand His love for me, during the past year I've grown to know how my Father longs to care for His daughter. And IT IS GOOD.  During the past few years the Holy Spirit has been recreating the way I think and perceive things.  I believe that I am worth being loved. I believe that His desire is for the best for my life. I look at each and every way He has redeemed, provided for and guided me and I'm enormously grateful.

So, I sit here on my bed typing on my laptop. And I'm grateful. Not simply for the material things for I've learned not to cling tightly-one tuktuk ride and my Kindle is broken, one drop of my camera at Wat Phnom and it won't work anymore, one speck of strawberry lemonade powder gets outside its container and the ants have infiltrated the entire thing :-) No, this gratitude is so much deeper-it runs all the way into my soul, deep, deep down so that I can praise Him for the circumstances of my life because He has brought me through it all to right where I am today.

As for my friend....he belongs to the same loving, providing, sovereign God I do. I know he'll seek the rest and peace He desires to give and because my friend seeks, our God will come through.

It probably will look a bit different from what I call peace and rest....and that makes glad. If God provided in the same way for each of us, I wouldn't be learning nearly as much from my Khmer brothers and sisters.

How about you? Has He shown you how grand His plan is, that He provides for and interacts with each of us so uniquely?

Jesus, I love the way You know each one of us so very well. Thank You for Your promise of providing rest and peace when we seek You. Thank You for the ways You've directed my life to bring to right where I am. Thank You for the ways in which You direct the lives of my friends...those in Cambodia, those who are reading this right now...Thank You that You are so very trustworthy and good.

Monday Night in a New Place

Right now it is 6:45pm and I am sitting in my living room in Cambodia, watching the Cosby Show.

Bet you didn't expect that....

Well, yep, that's what I'm doing here on a Monday night. Because, it makes life feel normal.

I've been back for about 10 days now.  And, I have truly realized that this season is really not the same as the last one I spent here.
It was very easy to tell myself (as well as others) that truth while I was in America. It's quite another thing to be here and live it.

It's been tough coming back after 7 months of being gone. I was in the States longer than I was in Cambodia last year (I was here for 5 months) and that wasn't my original intent when I left in November.
I've forgotten so much pia-saa Khmer (Khmer language) that I feel like I'm having to start all over again.
I live in a new neighborhood with new streets, new neighbors, new things that will eventually become familiar.
The kids at Kids Club have all grown (which is great!) and there are all these new ones...certainly many changes in that ministry and much of it is wonderful to observe. That's it though, right now, I'm just an observer in many things here until I get fully settled in again.
I'm having to pray about where my niche will be...there are many opportunities since we're in the process of hiring more Khmer staff members and officially cleaning out and opening the Boys Center.  Lots of new and exciting things to be part of!

Yet, this means that lots of things are simply different than they were last year.  I've found some time to spend with Jesus, letting go of the last season here, sitting before Him, trusting Him, knowing that He has the best possible plans for His glory and my life.

So, yes, on a Monday night my roommate, Steph, and I watched the Cosby Show on our little tv in our apartment. And, it made life feel normal for a bit. I could just laugh at a familiar sitcom and forget the circumstances around me.  It was good and I was glad for it.

5 Years Later...Still Missing Jenn

Jenn and I just a few weeks before she met Jesus face to face :-) We'd just enjoyed a long day filled with laughter!

Today marks 5 years since my dear friend, Jennifer Leghorn, went home to be with Jesus. She was 21 and celebrated her 22nd birthday, May 10, in Heaven.  I think parties in Heaven are going to 
be the most fun things EVER!


I find myself thinking about Jenn so much lately.  When we were in college she was going to be a missionary and I was going to teach 2nd grade....Now, I'm a missionary....I don't think any of us would've ever seen that one coming :-)  I still miss my friend, a lot.  During the past few months I've re-discovered the adventurous side (a story for a whole other blog!) and gosh I miss her as I do things like ride motos through Cambodian streets, go rock climbing and dream about para-gliding and mountain biking on a tandem bike :-)  Can't wait til eternity when we can do these things together!!


The rest of this blog is 2 posts I've written in previous years to honor who Jenn is....not was but is.  She is very much alive and well at this very moment because of the gift she chose to receive from our wonderful Savior Who gave her eternal life...Thank You Jesus for eternity and for my friend Jenn. 


"Hope and Courage Offered Through friendship-written May 8, 2008


May 9th 2006 was a Tuesday. I remember waking up that morning at Shalom retreat center. I spent the morning sitting with friends as we all participated in our very last session of something we called "The God Story". We had all been on a journey together during the past nine months-a journey of discovering how alive God's word is, a journey of discovering what it means to live in community (and what it doesn't mean as well) and particularly for me a journey of learning to trust God's love in my life.

We all listened intently as images of heaven filled the room, we were going through the book of Revelation paying special attention to the hope presented in the book. We talked about eternity, the joy of being with Jesus always. We talked about victory, the joy of overcoming death and pain. We talked about worship, the joy of praising Jesus without ever ceasing.

As soon as we had finished our last worship song a strange feeling of urgency came over me. I knew I needed to get to my phone. Everyone knew I was on a retreat in the-middle-of-nowhere-Kansas and so I wouldn't be able to get to my phone yet there was a new voicemail. It was my friend simply telling me to call as soon as I could.

I knew immediately what she was going to tell me. Our good friend Jenn had been fighting cancer for the past four years and this was the end. I called her back anyway and she only confirmed what I already knew in my heart. I stood there shakily holding the phone and could do nothing except melt into a puddle of tears. A few of my close friends surrounded me and prayed. The next few days were a blur as I tried to focus on the task at hand-bringing closure to this chapter in my life called Transit. I didn't let the grief come, I swallowed it so that I could be present during our graduation ceremonies and then I left for a month overseas.

I miss Jenn often. Last Sunday a worship song at church brought back memories of her after chemo treatments and I felt the sadness as if it were a punch in the stomach. So sudden and so real. Sometimes when I share ice cream with friends I remember the last time she and I had ice cream-it was the fourth of July and she wasn't well enough to go to a concert at Jones Beach as we'd planned so instead we had ice cream :-) During Transit she would send me "care packages" (her way of making sure that everyone in Kansas City knew that I was loved by people in New York) and I recently found a sticky note she'd attached to a card, it says, "Pray for me, I need it to beat this stupid cancer."

And we did pray. My friends and I prayed hard...in the beginning. Then, it sort of became commonplace that Jenn just had cancer. It didn't stop her from doing the things that she was passionate about-she still volunteered as a youth leader, she still worked at the campus library, she still got A grades in Professor Poston's classes. Although she had cancer it was never what defined her, at least not to those of us who really knew her.

I know that this has gotten rather lengthly and I really could just keep writing about all that Jenn was. I am just so very grateful that the Lord blessed me with the privilege of calling her friend and even sister. Last November I was on a retreat and Jesus prompted me to write her a letter, this is part of what it said,
"I think about how well I was loved by you even though we never talked about 'that stuff'. I think about your will to live life to the fullest. Jenn, you knew that life was rough and unfair but still you enjoyed it. You chose to trust Jesus despite so many things. You have given me so much hope and so much courage. Thank you for your example in choosing to follow and trust Him."

If you knew Jenn may you be reminded of her courage and hope, celebrate her this week-that is what she would want. If you did not know Jenn please think of those whose lives show you hope and give you courage-thank them and thank God for His blessings in your life."


"Loss=written May 12, 2006


I lost a part of my life last Tuesday. For the past five years I knew someone who was an amazing woman. Her name was Jennifer, but everyone called her Jenn. She was one of a kind. She had the most beautiful eyes. They were always filled with joy and hope because more than anything she knew that her Jesus was real and everpresent.
She had a zeal for life that was unmatched. She loved to camp, mountain-bike, kayak...anything that had a hint of adventure to it was meant for her!
She possessed such real tenacity and dilligence. I could always count on her courseload consisting of the maximum number of credits allowable each taught by the most challenging professors. She never earned less than a B in any class.
Jenn was a fighter. She battled abandonment from a young age and came out of it with a desire for all to belong. She battled parents who never really knew her and her last words to them were that she loved them and wanted them to know that she is alive and well with Jesus.
Her greatest battle was a three and half year all out war against a cancer that she so unaffectionately named Jezebel. She endured three rounds of Chemo, each one sending her into a short lived remission.
Jenn was one of my best friends. During the past five years we have laughed together countless times! We cried together, fought with God together, shared sarcasm....sometimes a bit too much :) Two weeks ago, I had the honor of being in her company one last time.
Last Tuesday, May 9th, Jenn went to be with Jesus. She told me not to be sad, she will be in heaven and it will be truly amazing. She will have new mountains and streams to explore everyday...and for that I am grateful, I am so glad to think about her spending her 23rd birthday on May 10 with Jesus....alive and well......But, I am so sad for the loss of my friend. My heart hurts more than I thought possible. We will never have another moment together in this life, the ones we've had will have to suffice until we meet again. The tears are coming now.......again........I feel the ache of a friend lost."

Missionary Moses and me

I've been thinking a lot about Moses lately. His story is really a great one. Born during a time when he should have been killed-just for being born!-he had a mom who let the Holy Spirit lead her to risk everything in order to save his life. She hid him for 3 months then sent him in a basket adrift on the Nile. 


God really did have BIG plans for this boy. 


Not only was he found, he was found by none other than Pharaoh's daughter! AND, (I love this part!) she offers to pay Moses' own mother to care for him as a young child! 

When he gets a bit older he is sent back to the Pharaoh's daughter and grows up as an Egyptian. Oh, wait, not just any Egyptian but royalty. 


So, this little boy was born and should have died. Not only is his life spared but his mother gets to watch him grow then he is given the honor of being treated as royalty-God's big picture is much more grand than we ever imagine.

One day, God speaks to Moses and his life is never the same....sound familiar to anyone else?

God allows Moses the privilege of fighting on behalf of an oppressed people. And, not only fighting for their freedom but, fighting for their freedom so that they can enter into relationship with the one true God (yep, missionary).

Sounds kinda great doesn't it? Fighting for justice. Fighting on behalf of people who need someone to fight for them. Fighting to see people enter into relationship with God....I like the sound of those kinds of things!

But, were I Moses, would I have liked it?

Moses had to go before the King...and demand that he stop oppressing the Hebrews. Moses didn't know the Hebrews, they were a foreign people to him but he was moved with fierce passion to see them treated justly (did I mention, I think Moses was a missionary?). In order for this to happen he went to Pharaoh and told him that if he wouldn't let the Hebrews go awful things would happen to the Egyptians.

This is where I'm not sure I would've been able to do what Moses did...when Pharaoh didn't let the people go it was Moses' job to initiate all kinds of awful plagues on the Egyptians (frogs, boils, locusts, darkness...eventually the death of every firstborn son). 
For the sake of justice for one group of people he watched as destruction came upon another group. Pharaoh was the one making the decisions and the plagues came upon ALL of the Egyptians.

I just don't know that I would have had the strength to watch hardship come upon an entire group of people based on their King's hardheaded decision. I'm certain that the only thing that would've kept me going would have been the knowledge that God told me to....

But, then again....

If today I had the opportunity to

free orphans... 

or child prostitutes... 

or homeless people.... 

or widows....

 from oppression 

and lead them into relationship with God 

BUT the condition 

was that I had to initiate and watch destruction come upon an entire people group associated with their oppressors.....what would I do then?

I don't know......other than to say that I'd follow God with all of who I am....His plan is so much bigger than the small, momentary glimpses we get during our time on this earth. Yeah, I'd follow Him.

(I really do not know why the font is different sizes and can't figure out how to change it....sorry!)

Prayer is a Weapon...And a Choice.

Yesterday morning I read that great article on prayer and posted it here.  I was so encouraged! I was reminded of how very powerful prayer truly is and was inspired to begin to wield this weapon I've been so freely given and yet use so rarely.

And, I did pray more yesterday than I have on other days.  I found myself praying about all kinds of things throughout my day.  I prayed for my roomate's car as she took it to the shop, I found myself praying for the staff of the church I attend, I prayed for a friend who is a sophomore in college and just beginning to realize how very big the world is and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, I prayed for grace and favor to be with another friend who is trying to manage his finances well to be able to do all the things God's put on his heart to do (like return to Cambodia this summer!)....Okay, so I prayed more yesterday than I have on other days (mind you, all these prayers were quite sporadic during the day-each one lasting anywhere from about 4-7 minutes....don't think I was like spending hours upon hours with God...which would have been great but, maybe that'll happen another day).

Then, last night at about 8:00 which is 9:00am in Cambodia my mind drifted to Phnom Penh and Svay Pak.  This is very common, I often wonder about what my friends are doing on the other side of the world.  And, thanks to technology, one of my American teammates in Cambodia was online and we began chatting on Facebook.  I really enjoy being able to connect with her so frequently, it helps me to stay in the loop with what's happening there and it's a great outlet for the both of us as we struggle with things that only those who've been there and experienced firsthand can relate to.

Earlier that morning I'd read an email update from another teammate.  Because it was sent out en mass the details of some stories were vague.  I began to ask questions about a situation that was described in the update.  My friend proceeded to confirm the truth of a situation we'd all been desperately hoping was not reality. Turns out that two of our youngest kids from the Wat Phnom ministry are indeed being sold nightly.  They are both boys, a 6-year old and a 4-year old.

A 4-year old boy who, even when we do have enough evidence and can catch the bad guy, HAS NO PLACE TO GO.  There is not a safe place for boys in Phnom Penh, let alone one where the eternal hope and healing of Jesus is offered.  Yet....

There is not a safe place for boys in Cambodia yet.  There will be because God has given us (the Hard Places Community) His dream for a place of refuge for little ones like this boy and the many others whose stories are very similar to his.  TraffickJam2011 has a mighty purpose in fulfilling this dream....And, I'm excited to see how He will provide!

But, last night and this morning I find myself with a truly broken heart (again).  I wept so hard last night, my stomach hurt and I was so angry at the evil of this fallen world.  Then I remembered about the weapon I've been given....and I was faced with such a clear choice: would I choose to believe that prayer was no match for this horrid situation that is only one of millions and be overcome by despair and hopelessness? Or, would I choose to bravely use what I've been given, knowing that it is prayer that ultimately moves heaven and earth?...not simply my words but my words being added to the power of the One who hears my pleas, the One whose heart is broken so much more than mine will ever be?  Would I belive that if I pray, if I choose to let my prayers rise to His throne with the countless other prayers that surely flood that place on behalf of the same issue, that He would hear and that things will change?

Yikes.  Big decision.  I chose to pray....I prayed through my tears, I cried, I yelled, I was angry, I was hurting. But, I went to my King, the One who has true power and authority in this world. And, I believe that He heard me and I trust that He knows best. His word tells me so; "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."-Isaiah 55:8-9.

Sometimes I want to stop feeling, I want to pretend that the little ones He's allowed to know and love in Cambodia are just fine, to not read the updates from teamates....But, my God promises to honor the sacrifice of a broken heart...so I'll continue to seek His heart and walk with Him...Psalm 51:15-17 "O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You don't delight in sacrifice or I'd bring it; You don't delight in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you won't despise."

Today, I'll choose to pray.....because it's what I can do right here, right now.

Out of my hands

Tonight as I type this I am trying so very hard to cling to sanity....


I had it all planned out. I would come back to the States for 2 months to raise awareness about the Boys Center in Cambodia and to let people here know that I would be going back there for an indefinite amount of time to help get the Center up and running.  Then I was presented with the choice to stay in the States and take of care of my own eyesight or ignore it and go back to Cambodia.  I heard the Lord tell me where He wanted me for now.  Then I thought I'd go back to Cambodia for 2 weeks on the end of my round trip ticket and buy a one way back to the States.  Now, the numbers of a ticket price are higher than the numbers in my bank account.  So again I'm asking Him what He has for me in this....


I do know that He does have a way for me to still be connected to the thing that was drawing me back to Cambodia in the first place and for this I'm so grateful.....
The Boys Center is something that I am passionate about maybe even beyond what words can tell you.  After living in Phnom Penh for almost six months and establishing relationships with over 30 kids who have been coming to Kids Club that I, along with Khmer and other westerners, lead each afternoon,


I have seen the faces, learned the names, heard the stories, visited the homes and shared meals with a group of people who have found their way into my heart like no others.  At the core of this group of people are some boys who have a need and Jesus has asked me to partner with Him so it can be met.


The numbers tell us that 1 out of every 6 boys, worldwide, is sexually molested before the age of 16.  In Cambodia, where human trafficking is not just a cause to be talked about but, a reality that happens to people with faces to be seen and stories to be told, young boys are being sold into lives of torture.  Jesus is not okay with this and neither am I.  A 24/7 Boys Center will be started in Phnom Penh-a place where can receive nutritious meals, learn life skills that will afford them wonderful job opportunities and, as time goes on, they will learn that they are safe and will be able to begin not only a process of healing but the process of redemption over their lives.....


I could type all day about the dreams I have for this place....And, maybe sometime soon I'll do just that.


But, for now, I'm trying to keep my eyes on Him.  As the things I thought were certain to happen are being shifted more and more each day (especially during the past 2 weeks) I want to be able to continue to trust Him.


Instead of magnifying the problems in Cambodia I want my life to magnify Him and His dreams for their future.


Rather than exalting the schemes and deceptions of darkness in the lives of the Khmer people I want my life to exalt His glory in their country and the ways He miraculously provides for their every need.


As it seems like my plans have changed (and are still changing) I will remind myself that He never changes.  His plan has always been for me to be right here, right now, typing this sentence.


When I don't understand things happening around me I often turn to music.  The words and emotions that others have experienced remind me that I am not alone, that it is okay to not know and most of all that it is good to be honest because that is how others are encouraged to honesy.


Maybe this song will encourage you today, maybe something you've just read will encourage you and maybe you'll be able to encourage someone else by sharing with them....

An Ache for Cambodia that Leads to Something More....

I know, it's the beginning of a new year and instead of writing about a resolution or the expectation of all the amazing things God has in store for me I'm writing about aches. 

But, just give this post a chance because I think it will end up being a realization of something much grander than just the pain of the moment that it is inspired by....

Since I've been back from Cambodia for the past 2 months some intense things have taken place there in the lives of those I know and love.  My friends and brothers, Panha and Veasna, had their Dad's tuk-tuk stolen less than a week after I'd arrived in Kansas City. I found myself shocked at the news-this happens to other people but, not ones I know!  There was a sick feeling in my stomach all day. The only thing that I thought could console me would be to be there with them, to be able to speak words of comfort, to be able to sit in silence with them as we all wonder about what this will mean for their family. But that wasn't His perfect plan, it was my teeny, tiny idea of what I could do.

His plan was SO MUCH BIGGER. I sent out an email telling friends of what had happened. An email with very little expectation of any real response. The response was overwhelming and two days later I found myself in a bank wiring over $1,500 to my friends so that their family could purchase a new tuk-tuk! And, it doesn't stop there; not only did they get an awesome tuk-tuk but, their Dad who was the only member of their  immediate family to still be a Buddhist, gave his life to Jesus after seeing the power of God's Kingdom to truly change things!

A few weeks later my friend Coen, who has been to Cambodia with me, and I were standing in our Pastor's office reading a news article on CNN about a tragic stampede that took place just hours before during the annual Water Festival in Cambodia.  The report stated that over 300 were dead.  Again, shock filled me followed by fear and even worry-were all of my friends alright? What had caused this? How were people responding? There were so many questions. I began frantically sending text messages to everyone in Cambodia whose phone number I had and, even though it was the middle of the night there, I got speedy replies.  Yes, everyone I knew was indeed safe.  However, some of their family members were not.  Many people I know personally were affected by the stampede through the loss of loved ones. I found myself mourning with people I love, weeping over their pain and at a loss for words as I thought about the spiritual darkness that hovered over a country so lost and desperate for hope. As I took communion that next Sunday I wept and wept over the goodness of our God.  I wept because for the first time I truly understood what it meant that His life was a worthy sacrifice for my sins.  Cambodia is a 95% Buddhist country and following the stampede people were putting out literal material things as sacrifices to appease the spirits in hopes of holding any other catastrophe at bay.  Their sacrifices are empty and worthless....I wept over a country so blinded by deception.

Yesterday as church was ending I received a text message from a colleague in Cambodia informing me that our dear friend lost her baby after he only lived for a day and a half. This is never news that can be taken in easily. This time though, it brought me to almost immediate tears.  My dear friends, Pastor Chantha and his wife Bunthan, live in Svay Pak. They pastor a church that is found in a building that used to be a notorious brothel where young children were sold for sex nightly.  They also mentor and care for 26 young adults who have chosen to follow Jesus despite the attempts of Satan to steal each of their lives through gangs, lucrative money making opportunities as pimps, horrid abuse and many other awful tricks. And (yes, this church is truly a light in one of the darkest places!) they even run a free medical clinic two days a week, have a school and offer English classes to the community.

These dear warriors in the Kingdom of heaven lost their second son yesterday.  My heart aches with grief for their loss.  But, there was also something fierce that rose up in me. A cry declaring that the enemy DOES NOT have any victory in this situation!  I will alert Satan as long as it takes for him to know that this will not be a foothold for him in that community. The faith of my brothers and sisters may be shaken for a moment but God will prevail, His faithfulness will outweigh any question or doubt!

So, yes, my heart aches today. My heart aches again for people I love in Cambodia, brothers and sisters who have changed my life with the way they worship our King, with their kindness, with their love.  A year ago I had not idea how my life would be changed because of some Khmer people who would quickly work their way into my heart.  And, today I find myself so grateful.  Even grateful for the ache.  The ache leads me to a place of intercession that has been dormant for quite a while.  The ache causes me to recall His faithfulness in my own life so that i can continue to claim it over Cambodia.....over those I've grown to love.

Motos, Marshmallows and So Much More :-)

        As September comes to a close I’m missing the change of seasons that I love so much!  Here in Phnom Penh, there’s absolutely no change, the days are still in the 90’s with lots of humidity.  If you live in part of the U.S. that is blessed with autumn please enjoy for me too!  This has been my fourth month in Cambodia and I really feel like it has simply been living life.  The things of daily life here have become normal for me and for that I’m glad.  For example, of course we’re going to eat rice and pork in the tuk-tuk for breakfast and, without any hesitation, our tuk-tuk will make 3 U-turns on the same road as he gets lost looking for a specific store, oh, and (my favorite) there will be a very loud, very crowded wedding right outside our house on a random Thursday morning beginning at 5:30 that won’t end until 10pm Friday.  All just part of normal life in Cambodia J

            The past month has been full of Jesus helping me to overcome fears of all kinds!  For example, after riding a moto once during the day time at a speed of about 2mph I was fairly convinced that I didn’t want to do that again.  One night I was out with some Khmer friends, we’d walked from my house to where we were eating and as it was time to go home Panha (who knew exactly how I felt about motos!) told me I was going to ride on his moto to get home! It was nighttime, I was unprepared and he did not drive slowly at all!  Needless to say, I prayed, held on and made it home! 

             Another fear arose as I was asked to give my testimony in Svay Pak. As I told my story to Veasna a few days before we were to speak in Svay Pak I found myself feeling peaceful and I was speaking with a sense of authority that could have only come from my King.  I know the stories of the people of Svay Pak very well because they are so parallel to my own life and as I stood in front of 50 people, holding a microphone and speaking of the goodness of God in my own life I knew that the Holy Spirit was up to something.  It is a rare thing for an American to share a story like mine, a story that lets the people here know that they are not alone, that America is not a utopia and that God has plans to give all people hope and a future!

            During the past month Jesus has been reminding me of how well He knows me and that He longs to see my heart full of joy.  I got to visit two Christian orphanages!  Now, you might be wondering how I find life and joy at an orphanage….On a daily basis I work with kids who do not know the reality of being loved.  They do not spend their days being carefree as children should, they don’t have dreams for their futures and their lives are built on fear, insecurity and a mind bent on survival.  Spending time at an orphanage where children are loved, can recognize love, know the difference that love has made in their lives and where they play games with each other, care for one another and worship Jesus together has truly been a breath of fresh air for my heart!

            I have also been honored to do some amazing things with the students in my English class.  We had a party because it is the end of their break from school and they will begin going to classes again in October as well as continuing to study English.  During the party we ate Oreos (they cost twice as much here as they do in the States and are a treat that Khmer people don’t normally get to enjoy), spoke lots of English and played a version of Chubby Bunny where we put marshmallows in our mouths and tried to say the word “marshmallow”, they had a such a good time!  

             Also, I went with Veasna to buy English-Khmer dictionaries for each of our students. He helped me pick out the best version that would be most helpful for them.  When we gave them out the students were so grateful! Veasna had to show them how to use them and once they understood there was so much excitement in the room, you could feel it!

            I want to thank each of you because the things you’ve just read about would not be possible without your encouragement, prayers and financial giving.  I am honored to be part of what is happening in this country and do not take a single day here for granted.

            I hope that you enjoy reading these updates as much as I enjoy writing them!  Each time I finish writing one I’m filled with a renewed sense of anticipation about what He has in store for my life, your lives and the lives of the people of Cambodia!

The Fun Things I Get to do in Cambodia!

Another month in Cambodia has gone by!  Some days it feels as if time is going very slowly and other days, like today, it seems as if time just flies by.  This past month has been one of gaining solid ground, building new friendships and saying goodbye to 4 wonderful people who have lived with me for 8 out of the 11 weeks I’ve been here.  I have been posting photos on my Facebook page as I can.  Please be aware that I cannot post many pictures of the children I’m working with since they are highly at risk of being exploited or trafficked.

            Daily life for me in Cambodia is busy and plenty rewarding!  Each day I am accompanied by 2 of the H.P.C. interns and our 2 translators all day as we partner with what God is doing in this city.  I need to tell you about our translators.  They are brothers, Panha and Veasna, they have just finished high school and have also just signed contracts to work full time with the H.P.C. Veasna is 18, Panha 17, they have lived in the city their entire lives with 2 younger brothers and both parents.  They grew up Buddhist in belief but not holding to many of the traditional practices.  Their family believes in all kinds of traditional Khmer and Buddhist rituals for luck, health, prosperity, etc.  Veasna was the first in his family to accept the truth of the Gospel, Panha followed and now they are praying for their father, the last member of the family who has yet to see the Truth.  These boys have a passion and zeal for the Lord and for the broken people of their country that is extremely rare in anyone here let alone young men.  Pray that He would continue to reveal more of His heart for His people to these brothers of mine so that they may step even more fully into the Kingdom destinies He has for them!

My mornings are spent teaching English in Svay Pak.  I have grown to really enjoy and love my students.  I have been so blessed to be able to keep the same group of 8 students that I have had since June when the team from Metro was here and 4 more students were added to my class in July.  My class is made up of students between the ages of 14-21 which allows us to have some great conversations and to really get to know one another.  This month, Veasna, (who, by this point, has become a very good friend as well), is teaching with me each day. Having him in the classroom is really helps all of us!  Please pray that Veasna and I would continue to find opportunities to share Jesus with these students, that I would be able to come up with new and creative ideas to teach this curriculum that is geared for European students to my Khmer students and pray for blessings upon Rahab’s House as they have opened up their doors to allow these classes to be held there.  

Each afternoon I go to Wat Phnom (one of the biggest Buddhist temples in Phnom Penh) and we do Kids club there in the afternoons. Things at Wat Phnom are really beginning to shape up well!  During the past 3 weeks we have been doing Kids Club (a Bible story/skit, craft, games, songs and snack) 3 days per week leaving the other 2 days as time to continue to build relationships through simply hanging out with the people there.  As we told the story of creation God sent tangible reminders that He is with us-the elephant and the monkeys who reside at the Wat all started coming towards the pavilion where we hold our meetings right as we talked about God creating the animals!  There is also a hospital near the Wat.  This hospital is free for needy families and as a result many will travel from the provinces outside the city to receive treatment.  This gives us many opportunities to pray for little ones and their families.

            Last Friday was the most fun Kids Club meeting yet! We all dressed up as superheroes to demonstrate that Jesus is far more powerful than any of us, the kids had a blast and then were thrilled when we gave them each a coloring book we’d made and some crayons to keep. We also had marshmallows for snack that day which is a huge treat (we usually bring fruit in hopes of helping keep the kids as nourished as possible).

            We could use prayer in the area of creativity and energy.  We must be creative as we figure out what kinds of resources we can find to work with here.  Doing Kids Club in a public area limits the parameters we can set as far as controlling the environment so please for wisdom as we deal with the children as well as all the other onlookers.  Kids Club takes place from 3-4:30 and the team plans from 1-2:30….we can all use some supernatural energy and strength during these hot afternoons!

             During July I had the honor of visiting a few brick factories not far from Svay Pak.  I was able to join with a team from California who were working with the church in Svay Pak (the church is called Rahab’s House) giving out rice, shoes and oral hygiene products. There are many of these factories all around Phnom Penh.  They are mostly staffed by women and their children.  These people work in sweltering heat then go into a room where the bricks are baked.  The room has no ventilation system and reaches temperatures well above 100 degrees.  Due to the poor ventilation many are diagnosed with pneumonia and eventually die. They work long days for less than $1/hour.  Many Khmer people don’t understand the concept of being compelled to give because of love; they think we are only giving so that we can receive good Karma in return.  As a result, we spend lots of time in prayer before and after we go out to the factories.  Please pray with us that the Truth would shine through us…..

            There are so many stories I could tell, I might just have to write a book someday J

            Thank you, friends, for taking the time to read this, for your prayers, for your encouragement through emails and Facebook….thank you! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me.....

Friday the 13th in Cambodia ;-)

Friday the 13th in Cambodia was a good day:

-7am-maintenance workers banging on our door so they can tear apart our bathroom to fix a leak/flood (at least we're all wide awake now)

 -7:45am-walk outside to find that the construction workers who tore up our sidewalk last week are now laying wet cement in a 4 foot span directly in front of our front door (to see last weeks' adventure look at my In Cambodia Photos album)
-10am-during English class I taught my friend, Veasna, the word "hoodie" (because he wears them all the time) and at one point there were 4 languages being spoken at once: Khmer, English, Vietanamese and Spanish
-11:30am-lunch with Veasna and Panha at KFC (very fun-drank green soda, attempted to eat cheese wedges-not so good...)
-12:30-2:30pm-at our apartment (along with all the maintanence guys) making costumes for Kids Club
-3:30pm-we're all dressed up like superheroes (I'm Superman with a blue cape/poncho and can fly!) to tell the kids about how powerful Jesus is!
-5:00pm-I'm reminded about how much value I place on going to church....and how much I miss church
-5:30pm-I'm right!!! It DID rain!!! (supposedly, only Khmer people can tell when it is REALLY going to rain, but tonight, I was right),
-6:00pm-great salad for dinner with Shannon
-7:30pm-an unexpected phone conversation with one of the students in my English class
-9:00pm-very encouraged about Svay Pak from reading Coen's note about it (shared it with Shannon and we both started laughing about the joy we are honored to experience in that place every day). It was a good day :-)

Just wanted to share with everyone some of the fun times I'm having here!

Thanks everyone for your prayers and constant encouragement, it means so much to me!!

Lots of Newness

            Another month in Cambodia has gone by!  Some days it feels as if time is going very slowly and other days, like today, it seems as if time just flies by.  This past month has been one of gaining solid ground, building new friendships and saying goodbye to 4 wonderful people who have lived with me for 8 out of the 11 weeks I’ve been here.  I have been posting photos on my Facebook page as I can.  Please be aware that I cannot post many pictures of the children I’m working with since they are highly at risk.  If you’d like to see photos, even if you don’t have a Facebook account, you can see my In Cambodia Photos. 

            Daily life for me in Cambodia is busy and plenty rewarding!  Each day I am accompanied by 2 of the H.P.C. interns and our 2 translators all day as we partner with what God is doing in this city.  I need to tell you about our translators.  They are brothers, Panha and Veasna, they have just finished high school and have also just signed contracts to work full time with the H.P.C.  Veasna is 18, Panha 17, they have lived in the city their entire lives with 2 younger brothers and both parents.  They grew up Buddhist in belief but not holding to many of the traditional practices.  Their family believes in all kinds of traditional Khmer and Buddhist rituals for luck, health, prosperity, etc.  Veasna was the first in his family to accept the truth of the Gospel, Panha followed and now they are praying for their father, the last member of the family who has yet to see the Truth.  These boys have a passion and zeal for the Lord and for the broken people of their country that is extremely rare in anyone here let alone young men.  Pray that He would continue to reveal more of His heart for His people to these brothers of mine so that they may step even more fully into the Kingdom destinies He has for them!

My mornings are spent teaching English in Svay Pak.  I have grown to really enjoy and love my students.  I have been so blessed to be able to keep the same group of 8 students that I have had since June when the team from Metro was here and 4 more students were added to my class in July.  My class is made up of students between the ages of 14-21 which allows us to have some great conversations and to really get to know one another.  This month, Veasna, (who, by this point, has become a very good friend as well), is teaching with me each day.  Having him in the classroom is really helps all of us!  Please pray that Veasna and I would continue to find opportunities to share Jesus with these students, that I would be able to come up with new and creative ideas to teach this curriculum that is geared for European students to my Khmer students and pray for blessings upon Rahab’s House as they have opened up their doors to allow these classes to be held there.  

Each afternoon I go to Wat Phnom (one of the biggest Buddhist temples in Phnom Penh) and we do Kids club there in the afternoons. Things at Wat Phnom are really beginning to shape up well!  During the past 3 weeks we have been doing Kids Club (a Bible story/skit, craft, games, songs and snack) 3 days per week leaving the other 2 days as time to continue to build relationships through simply hanging out with the people there.  As we told the story of creation God sent tangible reminders that He is with us-the elephant and the monkeys who reside at the Wat all started coming towards the pavilion where we hold our meetings right as we talked about God creating the animals!  There is also a hospital near the Wat.  This hospital is free for needy families and as a result many will travel from the provinces outside the city to receive treatment.  This gives us many opportunities to pray for little ones and their families.

            Last Friday was the most fun Kids Club meeting yet! We all dressed up as superheroes to demonstrate that Jesus is far more powerful than any of us, the kids had a blast and then were thrilled when we gave them each a coloring book we’d made and some crayons to keep. We also had marshmallows for snack that day which is a huge treat (we usually bring fruit in hopes of helping keep the kids as nourished as possible).

            We could use prayer in the area of creativity and energy.  We must be creative as we figure out what kinds of resources we can find to work with here.  Doing Kids Club in a public area limits the parameters we can set as far as controlling the environment so please for wisdom as we deal with the children as well as all the other onlookers.  Kids Club takes place from 3-4:30 and the team plans from 1-2:30….we can all use some supernatural energy and strength during these hot afternoons!

             During July I had the honor of visiting a few brick factories not far from Svay Pak.  I was able to join with a team from California who were working with the church in Svay Pak (the church is called Rahab’s House) giving out rice, shoes and oral hygiene products.  There are many of these factories all around Phnom Penh.  They are mostly staffed by women and their children.  These people work in sweltering heat then go into a room where the bricks are baked.  The room has no ventilation system and reaches temperatures well above 100 degrees.  Due to the poor ventilation many are diagnosed with pneumonia and eventually die.  They work long days for less than $1/hour.  Many Khmer people don’t understand the concept of being compelled to give because of love; they think we are only giving so that we can receive good Karma in return.  As a result, we spend lots of time in prayer before and after we go out to the factories.  Please pray with us that the Truth would shine through us…..

            There are so many stories I could tell, I might just have to write a book someday J

            I am so grateful and humbled by all who are praying for me and those who give financially. 

            Thank you, friends, for taking the time to read this, for your prayers, for your encouragement through emails and Facebook….thank you!