Unlikely Missiles

I remember a time during my freshman year of college, I was 18, when the campus pastor who I thought was insane, prayed for me during a mandatory chapel service…. Well, sort of mandatory… I mean, it was mandatory because I had to make up for the actual required chapels I had skipped during the week…. 

Right, so the crazy campus pastor prayed for me and in his prayer he said that my prayers would be like missiles in the darkness, he said that I was like a secret weapon that God was getting ready to launch…. Who, me? I’m 18 and came from the projects….my family is involved in all the illegal things you see in the movies, I am only on this Christian college campus Monday morning through Friday morning because I travel two and half hours each way every weekend to go home and make sure my mom and younger brothers are still alive and not in jail. So…. Sorry about that, but I think you’ve got the wrong warrior in mind. 

It turns out though that he really wasn’t crazy at all… he was just the first to see and declare what God had put in me. And, I liked the idea of having power against darkness so I hung onto the word. And I began to attempt to fight the darkness that I could see around me. I fought hard, I put my everything into the fighting, every battle I saw in front of me became my focus. There were some problems though- I didn’t have any training, I did it all alone and I had serious tunnel vision so I could only see a very limited battlefield. I didn’t understand the battle strategy and I didn’t know that I was part of a larger army. 

Every time I engaged in fighting it was with the goal of keeping my mom and brothers safe and happy. I used every bit of strength I had to make sure they had food to eat, I said yes to every request to borrow money, I looked the other way every time my money, possessions, ATM card went missing, I would give every loose coin I had so they could buy drugs from home instead of going out and stealing to get them… I felt really good about all of this. I was fighting the evil in their lives, I was protecting them! 

I had no idea for a long time that I was actually contributing on the wrong side. I was using my own strength and helping the enemy keep his grip on my family and even as I did that he was beating me up at the same time. 

Then I began to hear the voice of God telling me how He loved me, telling me He loved my family even more than I did and telling me that it was not my job to rescue them… He had already paid that price and my job was only to love them in His direction so they could see His love for themselves instead of letting them see my own efforts. 

I began to relax, I began to rest a bit. I began to learn about what it means to be part of God’s strategic battle plan. Then, I began to raise my weapons again but this time with much more purpose, with much more focus and with much more understanding that I was fighting as part of a larger army that had certainty of victory. I began to fight in a very different way. 

I fought for loved ones with prayers, 

I fought for the hopeless with the pure joy found in hope, 

i fought for the lonely with my presence. 

I fought for the grieving ones with my tears alongside theirs. 

I fought for the ones who are misunderstood with empathy. 

I fought for the hurting with love. 

i fought for the fearful with courageous Truth. 

i fought for the unseen with my voice. 

I fought for the lost with His word, 

I fought for the needy with generosity…. 

i still fight like this today and will continue to tomorrow. 

Lately, i’m discovering something I neglected to fight for, I even neglected to recognize it was a need. It's becoming more and more clear that I need to learn the strategy of fighting for ME. Fighting for healing. 

Satan has been throwing punches….actually, more like bullets….since before I was even born. My mom was 17 when I was born and she had two abortions before me then I was born three months early… See? Bullets since before I was born. But, God already has the victory and I fight on His side now. As I fight though there are times when He asks me to stop for a bit so I can regain my strength from Him, so I can allow Him to heal the wounded places because…. 

Wounds that have been healed carry authority with them to speak of the Healer. 

Wounds that have been healed offer confidence in the Healer even as we’re in the middle of new battles. 

Wounds that have been healed offer proof that we fight on the right side. 

Wounds that have been healed offer evidence that the Healer can be trusted. 

Wounds that have been healed carry wisdom to be shared with the hurting. 

Wounds that have been healed speak louder than lies that look like protection. 

Wounds that have been healed soften armor so love can get in. 

Wounds that have been healed break chains that we didn’t even know were there. 

Wounds that have been healed look like rescue for the lost. 

Wounds that have been healed bring defeat straight into the enemy’s camp. 

Wounds that have been healed change pain into persevering victory. 

Wounds that have been healed give honor to His death for our freedom. 

Wounds that have been healed shoot missiles right in the center of darkness.

He’s showing me really specific areas from my past where I agreed with the enemy without even knowing what I was doing…. I believed so many lies that wounded me. No more though. I was created to be a missile in the darkness. I was born to bring His victory, His glory to this earth for such a time as this. I will choose bravery as He shows me the deepest wounds and heals them with His love through His presence, His word and His people.