Gifts are my love language; the fact that I was thought of, planned for or inspired someone to some form of generosity, even while I wasn’t with them, speaks volumes into my heart about my value in a relationship. I often thank God for His gifts of friendships, beautiful scenery, calm breezes (I live in a very humid tropical country), delicious food, ability to communicate in more than one language, a dog who brings so much good into my life… and so many other good gifts!
Last October my brother and sister who know me so well gave me a gift just because they saw it and thought of me! It was a simple gold bracelet with a turtle charm (I’ll tell you why turtles are important another time)- I felt so known, so seen, so valued. It was a perfect gift! And, a treasure.
I’ve never felt like I could wear a bracelet- I’m not small and dainty. I see things with my hands more than my eyes so my wrists are often banged against things as they’re discovered.
I wore this one though. I wore it on days when I needed a smile and on days when I knew others needed encouragement from me.
Then, in January, I wore it on the first day back to work after the new year holiday. And, it fell off my wrist, I lost it.
I cried, hard. I didn’t expect the kind of sobs that came up. They were tears from sadness mixed with tears from lies that said, “I told you so… Why did you think you could have something so valuable? You aren’t meant for things like that…”
As I cried through telling my sister I’d lost the gift she immediately said they’d get me another one (she also told my brother to buy me an expensive ice cream bar while he was on his way to my house that evening – how well they really do know me!).
I didn’t think I wanted another one, the risk of losing a second one actually made my stomach hurt a little. I wasn’t meant to have beautiful, valuable things… why would they get me another one? I secretly hoped they’d forget.
Tonight she handed me a gift box. In it was not only a turtle bracelet, but also a necklace and earrings! I was stunned, speechless. And, all at the same time, so filled with love in all the places in my heart that needed His restoring… in a moment He gave more than my expectations and shattered the lie that I wasn’t meant for beautiful, valuable things…
At some point in my past- no, not just once, it must’ve been many times- the deceiver led me to believe I wasn’t meant for beautiful, valuable things… maybe it was as each glass figurine my stepdad brought home for me as a gift eventually got broken during domestic violence… or, maybe it was when my mom’s boyfriend got me the exact purple radio I wanted and later set the house on fire… maybe it was when I turned 16 two months after a cousin who had a big, beautiful party and I, in foster care, didn’t even have a cake…
Yes, the deceiver led me to believe…
But, oh the Truth sets us free!
The Truth that God created me in my mother’s womb, that He prepared such wonderfully good, beautiful, valuable things for me! The Truth that by His grace those broken places from our pasts can be healed and restored to wholeness…
His goodness is more than you expect…
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