Just 10 Days

Well, my flight back to Cambodia leaves at 6:25am tomorrow! I will stay there for about 10 days and arrive back in Kansas City on Tuesday, January 25th.  Although I'm not headed back for an indefinite amount of time as originally planned I am still very excited about this trip.  I just spent some time with Jesus asking Him about what He has for me during this seemingly very short stay in Phnom Penh.  These are some of the things He shared with me and they really encouraged me so I thought I'd share them with you.


I will spend my time doing a number of things, most of which are directly related to connecting with people who I've grown to know and love through various means; some are children I have the privilege of spending time with as I help to lead Kids Club at Wat Phnom, some are young adults who I've been honored to get to know through teaching English and some are simply friends and colleagues who I'm so blessed to get to live life alongside while I'm there.


I will be able to have a direct hand in transitioning Kids Club to a group of American women who all have made 2 year commitments to Cambodia.  I'm very grateful to be able to pass the baton of this program to people who I know will be able to see it through for a while as opposed to a short term group who would then leave and cause the kids to go through even more changes.  I have been allowed to get to know these kids, to visit some of their homes, to take them on outings, to watch their attitudes towards us as leaders transform  from one of indifference into one where they all eagerly line the street each day waiting for us to show up!  They've all secured themselves in my heart in a very special way and I can't wait to be back in Cambodia this summer with a long term goal of helping to get the Boys Center running!


I will have the opportunity to meet with some of the teens and young adults who I taught English.  I will be able to tell them in person why I am not coming back right now.  My prayer is that through this they will not just see another person who came into their world for a moment and then pulled out because they had things to get back to somewhere else.  When I shared my testimony with them in Svay Pak I told them that I was sharing my story so that we could become friends.  I had no intentions of challenging them to offer their lives to Jesus and then leaving them to wonder at what that really meant.  I told them that I'd be available, that I WANTED, to walk out the journey with them.  And, that is still what I feel the Lord has for me in some of those relationships.  So, it will be very good for me to be able to keep true to my word and to not give them any reason to think that I have chosen to run away from their questions.  It is by our love that the world will know we are His....


Hopefully, I will be able to get some video footage of some of my Hard Places teammates speaking about the issues facing young boys in Cambodia.  I'd also like to get on video a testimony of one of the young men I've met who has given his life to Jesus and is now standing fiercely and firmly against the powers of deception and darkness that once ruled his life.  The powers that still have a strong grip on the lives of so many in Cambodia....but, that WILL change one day, one day soon.  Jesus is raising up a generation of people in Cambodia who are standing up for the Truth, speaking out on behalf of the oppressed and fighting for justice to reign.


I will also be able to share with those I value dearly as brothers and sisters in the Kingdom, both Americans as well as Khmer, the very personal way that the Lord has asked me to follow Him in seeking out His best for my eyesight.  This is not going to be an easy thing for me to give attention to during the next few months and I know that I will not be able to do it alone.  My tendancy will be to push it aside and spend all of my energy in other places.  I do see it as a gigantic, gracious, blessing from the Lord that He is providing me with an outlet to continue to pour into the Boys Center as I travel to promote TraffickJam. But, I am fully aware that this opportunity presented itself only after I chose to yield when He asked me to fight for my eyesight.  I value very highly and covet the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Cambodia along with all of yours as well.


Yes, just 10 days.  10 days that when completed will allow me to come back to the States with a feeling of peace, a knowledge that I did my part in honoring the people I've met and love.  I pray that I will come back feeling settled, settled into this new part of the adventure.  Not only settled but, even anticipating that He is going to meet me in every step, that He has something so specific and so important for the rest of my journey here on this earth, that I MUST be here in order to live out the rest in a way that will bring only more glory to Him.  I'm expecting to learn so much more about who He is and how He cares for people as I submit to Him in what He asks of me concerning my eyesight.  And, I'm excited about all of the things I'll experience, all of the people I'll meet and all of the stories I'll have to share as I promote TraffickJam!


I can't wait...... :-)

Out of my hands

Tonight as I type this I am trying so very hard to cling to sanity....


I had it all planned out. I would come back to the States for 2 months to raise awareness about the Boys Center in Cambodia and to let people here know that I would be going back there for an indefinite amount of time to help get the Center up and running.  Then I was presented with the choice to stay in the States and take of care of my own eyesight or ignore it and go back to Cambodia.  I heard the Lord tell me where He wanted me for now.  Then I thought I'd go back to Cambodia for 2 weeks on the end of my round trip ticket and buy a one way back to the States.  Now, the numbers of a ticket price are higher than the numbers in my bank account.  So again I'm asking Him what He has for me in this....


I do know that He does have a way for me to still be connected to the thing that was drawing me back to Cambodia in the first place and for this I'm so grateful.....
The Boys Center is something that I am passionate about maybe even beyond what words can tell you.  After living in Phnom Penh for almost six months and establishing relationships with over 30 kids who have been coming to Kids Club that I, along with Khmer and other westerners, lead each afternoon,


I have seen the faces, learned the names, heard the stories, visited the homes and shared meals with a group of people who have found their way into my heart like no others.  At the core of this group of people are some boys who have a need and Jesus has asked me to partner with Him so it can be met.


The numbers tell us that 1 out of every 6 boys, worldwide, is sexually molested before the age of 16.  In Cambodia, where human trafficking is not just a cause to be talked about but, a reality that happens to people with faces to be seen and stories to be told, young boys are being sold into lives of torture.  Jesus is not okay with this and neither am I.  A 24/7 Boys Center will be started in Phnom Penh-a place where can receive nutritious meals, learn life skills that will afford them wonderful job opportunities and, as time goes on, they will learn that they are safe and will be able to begin not only a process of healing but the process of redemption over their lives.....


I could type all day about the dreams I have for this place....And, maybe sometime soon I'll do just that.


But, for now, I'm trying to keep my eyes on Him.  As the things I thought were certain to happen are being shifted more and more each day (especially during the past 2 weeks) I want to be able to continue to trust Him.


Instead of magnifying the problems in Cambodia I want my life to magnify Him and His dreams for their future.


Rather than exalting the schemes and deceptions of darkness in the lives of the Khmer people I want my life to exalt His glory in their country and the ways He miraculously provides for their every need.


As it seems like my plans have changed (and are still changing) I will remind myself that He never changes.  His plan has always been for me to be right here, right now, typing this sentence.


When I don't understand things happening around me I often turn to music.  The words and emotions that others have experienced remind me that I am not alone, that it is okay to not know and most of all that it is good to be honest because that is how others are encouraged to honesy.


Maybe this song will encourage you today, maybe something you've just read will encourage you and maybe you'll be able to encourage someone else by sharing with them....

An Ache for Cambodia that Leads to Something More....

I know, it's the beginning of a new year and instead of writing about a resolution or the expectation of all the amazing things God has in store for me I'm writing about aches. 

But, just give this post a chance because I think it will end up being a realization of something much grander than just the pain of the moment that it is inspired by....

Since I've been back from Cambodia for the past 2 months some intense things have taken place there in the lives of those I know and love.  My friends and brothers, Panha and Veasna, had their Dad's tuk-tuk stolen less than a week after I'd arrived in Kansas City. I found myself shocked at the news-this happens to other people but, not ones I know!  There was a sick feeling in my stomach all day. The only thing that I thought could console me would be to be there with them, to be able to speak words of comfort, to be able to sit in silence with them as we all wonder about what this will mean for their family. But that wasn't His perfect plan, it was my teeny, tiny idea of what I could do.

His plan was SO MUCH BIGGER. I sent out an email telling friends of what had happened. An email with very little expectation of any real response. The response was overwhelming and two days later I found myself in a bank wiring over $1,500 to my friends so that their family could purchase a new tuk-tuk! And, it doesn't stop there; not only did they get an awesome tuk-tuk but, their Dad who was the only member of their  immediate family to still be a Buddhist, gave his life to Jesus after seeing the power of God's Kingdom to truly change things!

A few weeks later my friend Coen, who has been to Cambodia with me, and I were standing in our Pastor's office reading a news article on CNN about a tragic stampede that took place just hours before during the annual Water Festival in Cambodia.  The report stated that over 300 were dead.  Again, shock filled me followed by fear and even worry-were all of my friends alright? What had caused this? How were people responding? There were so many questions. I began frantically sending text messages to everyone in Cambodia whose phone number I had and, even though it was the middle of the night there, I got speedy replies.  Yes, everyone I knew was indeed safe.  However, some of their family members were not.  Many people I know personally were affected by the stampede through the loss of loved ones. I found myself mourning with people I love, weeping over their pain and at a loss for words as I thought about the spiritual darkness that hovered over a country so lost and desperate for hope. As I took communion that next Sunday I wept and wept over the goodness of our God.  I wept because for the first time I truly understood what it meant that His life was a worthy sacrifice for my sins.  Cambodia is a 95% Buddhist country and following the stampede people were putting out literal material things as sacrifices to appease the spirits in hopes of holding any other catastrophe at bay.  Their sacrifices are empty and worthless....I wept over a country so blinded by deception.

Yesterday as church was ending I received a text message from a colleague in Cambodia informing me that our dear friend lost her baby after he only lived for a day and a half. This is never news that can be taken in easily. This time though, it brought me to almost immediate tears.  My dear friends, Pastor Chantha and his wife Bunthan, live in Svay Pak. They pastor a church that is found in a building that used to be a notorious brothel where young children were sold for sex nightly.  They also mentor and care for 26 young adults who have chosen to follow Jesus despite the attempts of Satan to steal each of their lives through gangs, lucrative money making opportunities as pimps, horrid abuse and many other awful tricks. And (yes, this church is truly a light in one of the darkest places!) they even run a free medical clinic two days a week, have a school and offer English classes to the community.

These dear warriors in the Kingdom of heaven lost their second son yesterday.  My heart aches with grief for their loss.  But, there was also something fierce that rose up in me. A cry declaring that the enemy DOES NOT have any victory in this situation!  I will alert Satan as long as it takes for him to know that this will not be a foothold for him in that community. The faith of my brothers and sisters may be shaken for a moment but God will prevail, His faithfulness will outweigh any question or doubt!

So, yes, my heart aches today. My heart aches again for people I love in Cambodia, brothers and sisters who have changed my life with the way they worship our King, with their kindness, with their love.  A year ago I had not idea how my life would be changed because of some Khmer people who would quickly work their way into my heart.  And, today I find myself so grateful.  Even grateful for the ache.  The ache leads me to a place of intercession that has been dormant for quite a while.  The ache causes me to recall His faithfulness in my own life so that i can continue to claim it over Cambodia.....over those I've grown to love.