February Update

I've been back from Cambodia for one month. Hard to believe it's really been that long, it still feels as if it just yesterday I was meeting my friend Veasna at 8:00 in the morning when we would ride on his moto to Wat Phnom.  It has been a bit easier to keep my mind here in the States, although I still think about everyone there at least once a day! I've also been known to speak Khmer to people here and quite frequently have a desire to ride on a moto....which usually goes away pretty quickly when I realize how cold it is outside!


The Lord is always so very gracious to me and He surprises me at every turn that my life takes! Recently, I've been so blessed at how rich and deep my times with Him have been.  I truly love His word and am taking in every moment I can to get to know Him more through it.  I've been reading a lot about David-oh how I hope that when faced with situations where I'd have the opportunity to take God at His word that I would respond with the kind of faith and courage David had!


I've also been working on putting together a video that will be used as presentations are done for TraffickJam.  And....I FINISHED IT LAST NIGHT!!! WOOHOO :-) 


I leave tomorrow for South Carolina where I will do a few presentations at Southern Wesleyan University.  I'm extremely excited about this for 2 reasons: 1-I'll get to help people get pumped up and signed to participate in the TraffickJam walk their school is hosting! and, 2-I'll get to spend a few days with some amazing brothers whom I got to serve with while they were in Cambodia this past summer!!!  It's so great to be able to reconnect with people who've actually been there.


I'm still planning in my heart to return to Cambodia in June. However, I'll need another $500/month in funds to live there.  Please join me in praying for His provision concerning this. And, of course, let me know if you and your family would like to partner with me financially!


If you haven't already read this story on Facebook, then please read Ratanak's story-it's a story of a young man I've known since July and it speaks so clearly of why a boys center is needed in Cambodia.

Ratanak came to the city when he was fourteen like many teenagers do. He came in search of work. He came to live with “Ohm.” Ohm was a distant relative who had been living in the city for several years. She had been selling noodle soup out of her mobile kitchen—two baskets balanced on the ends of a wooden pole she carries on her shoulder. When Ratanak showed up in the city, she told him he could sleep on the straw mat on her floor as long as he was able to bring some income into the household. This would be in addition to what he was expected to send back to his family in the countryside. Within a couple days Ratanak had set himself up with a basket containing bags of shrimp-flavored crackers and air-puffed packets of sandwich cookies in an area where people regularly “dar layng,” or hang out.

 As Ratanak squatted on the sidewalk each
afternoon hawking his goods, he noticed a couple of young men who showed up each afternoon with balls and jump ropes. One day one of the young men approached him and invited him to join in a game of soccer. He eagerly agreed after asking another nearby seller to watch his wares. From then on every afternoon, Ratanak would find his way to the soccer game. He enjoyed playing. He invited other younger children to participate. He began to think of these young men as his older brothers. They really seemed to care about him and his life. He shared with them about living with Ohm. He shared about how he had come from the countryside and about his younger siblings who were still there. He shared about how Ohm had told him that he would not be able to stay with her much longer because she did not have enough money to care for him. He would have to go back to the countryside. Squatting next to his new brother in the shade alongside the road, he shared about his fear.

The truth is that Ratanak had not come to the city to help his family as much as he had to escape them. He shared about his father spending all of the family’s earnings on alcohol. He shared about his father beating him. He shared about the relief he would feel when his father passed out from drinking too much alcohol because that meant he would be safe that night. He shared about his father threatening to kill him. And, though his heart raced with fear, he shared about the night his father took him into the rice field near their home and began to unzip his pants. He shared about how he wriggled free of his father’s grip and ran and ran. He shared about how when he returned to his house in the morning his father told him if he ever came back without pockets full of cash, his father would beat him to death.

Ratanak had been diligently saving money for the day he would see his father again, but no amount of money could alleviate his fear. What if next time he couldn’t escape? What if next time there was nowhere to run? What if next time there was no one to tell?

But, what if next time there was a place of refuge, of safety, of love, of help? That place is coming soon. Hope is not lost for Ratanak and others who know his story as their own.

*Names and details of this story have been changed in order to protect the identity and dignity of those mentioned.

Learning of the Pain That Comes With Love

Oh gosh.....I just don't really know where to even begin....

At the bottom of this post is a video of a the song, "I Saw What I Saw" by Sara Groves.  Her lyrics seem to meet my emotions quite perfectly these days.  Once again, I'm reminded of what a wonderful gift music is and am so grateful for skilled writers!

I want to be able to share stories with you about my recent trip to Cambodia.  The problem is, right now, all I can think of  are the stories that are not so fun to tell :-(

I mean, I can still share them with you. And, maybe they will even lead you to greater times of prayer for the people I know and love or maybe they will give you the courage to share some of your own "not so fun to tell" stories.  That would be a good thing, right?

While in Phnom Penh I was able to see many of the people I'd hoped to reconnect with.  There was one big difference in being there this time though.  It was like I was  able to feel all the emotions that were alive around me for the first time.  I think that while I was living there for nearly 6 months I simply let every part of my life become routine and in doing so was able to stop myself from feeling the raw emotions that could have easily accompanied any given day.

Returning to Kids Club at Wat Phnom was so great....for the first ten minutes. Then, I just found myself sitting in the middle (quite literally, they were ALL OVER ME) of a group of 20 kids who I've spent countless hours with.  But, this time I felt pain.  It was painful to watch as my 4 year old friend so easily went up to any stranger and asked for....wel, anything he could get really.  This is how he and his 6 year old sister spend their days-begging for food, money, water.  All of a sudden the reality that this is NOT right came crashing down on top of me as never before.  It was painful to think about what happens each night (drug deals, transvestites selling themselves, currupt police officers adding to the chaos, children wandering aimlessly and unsupervised....oh, the list could go on....) in the very park where we have club each day.  THIS IS WHERE THESE SWEET ONES ARE GROWING UP.  And, it hurt, a lot. 

I visited my friends in Svay Pak, the village where I'd spent every morning, the very same village that was written about in Gary Haugen's book, Terrify No More. From June through October I would arrive each morning with any of my various teamates and we would be blown away at the joy with which we were met!  Our students were eager to learn, the  younger kids were LOUDLY singing whatever the newest Bible song was that they'd been taught the afternoon before and the young women along with the Pastor's wife were all chatting and laughing in the kitchen as they prepared for lunch later that day....always lots of fun! This time though, I was met by my dear friends who are still grieving the loss of their son, Daniel, earlier this year.  The reality of such strong leadership mourning was thick and heavy (as mourning usually is).  One of my brothers there told me about his 30 year old sister-in-law who had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer and sent home to die.  We prayed-he prayed for my eyes and I prayed for his family. This morning I got an email telling me that his sister-in-law, Pov, has gone to be with Jesus. I cried...and will probably cry some more.  

My mind is too tired to keep making sense of the things I felt during my short visit.  Maybe in a few days I'll have the energy for more.....

For now, please join with me in prayer in whatever way you feel led.  Thank you for coming along for the journey...it's certainly not over yet.

And, it certainly does not end in despair.  My God is a Redeemer and He is already redeeming in Cambodia.  I will continue to look for the hope in each story. And I also promise that I won't be afraid to share some of pain as well....I believe that He allows us to feel the pain so that we will be able to experience joy in all of its fullness. 


Yes, Lord, I will live with the pain for a time because I KNOW the joy of Your glory in every circumstance is more than worth it!