Part of the Making of (His)tory

Last night I had the great pleasure to attend the live recording of the 3rd album produced by LIFEband here in Cambodia. The singers and musicians happen to be some of my closest friends and I was more than excited for this event! For the past three years this group of friends have been meeting together once a week to write and put to music original worship songs for the Khmer church, they have already produced 2 albums and tthe 3rd will release in September. 

God had promised through His word and through a vision given to one of the band members, that His presence would be with them during the night of the recording. And He's faithful to keep His promises. And so as a roomful of people stood and sang, worshiped and declared statements such as, "Give to the Lord blessing, glory, honor and power", "have no fear, God is here" and "God restores all that has been lost" we knew that He was certainly with us.

I believe, with many others, that the songs written for this album, titled, "Bold", are filled with an anointing that will release something into Cambodia. Not really release something new but rather release something that has been held in for far too long... The courage proclaimed in the lyrics to these songs will give the ones who hear them the freedom to walk in ALL the fullness of His Kingdom as it is here in Cambodia. These songs will relaese people to grab hold of what is already theirs-not things they have to wait for but ALL that is already given for them to experience now.

No more waiting for Him to restore all that's been lost.....He is doing it already!
No more waiting for Him to receive blessing from Cambodia....He is being blessed by this nation already!
No more waiting for Him to be with us so we won't fear....He is with us already!

This morning during worship at church (a mere 14 hours after the recording ended) God's presence was with us in such a tangibly powerful way!  Declarations were being made about ALL that God has in store for Cambodia as we sang that we wanted to see revival and His Kingdom come to this earth.  We want more of Him...and that's what it takes, more of Him and less of us (John 3:30).  I am so ready to keep walking forward into what He already has for us here in Cambodia! The Khmer worshippers have been realeased from their fear and silence and satan better watch out because they won't be stopped again!

I LOVE being part of the church in Cambodia during this season of its history. It is a season of realizing His truth, a season of receiving new revelations of Who He is and a season of rapid restoration of all that the enemy thought he stole!

Here's a video of one of the songs from the live recording of the 2nd album, last year. As you listen to the words agree with Heaven that Jesus will continue to be exalted in Cambodia, that chains will continue to be broken, hearts healed and dreams and visions set free over this nation!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XvX3j6ERpk0

The Discipline of Slowing Down

Life demands that we slow down and even stop sometimes. We stop at certain traffic lights and signs, we stop when the batteries die in electronics, our bodies even naturally slow us down as we sleep.  God has created rhythms and slowing down is part of His plan. I'm not talking about Sabbath- that's a whole other kind of stopping.  I'm talking about a slowing down that allows us to shift our focus from one thing to another.  There are at least two major kinds of slowing down in my life. The first is on a daily basis and the second kind happens after a longer amount of time-sometimes every few months, sometimes every few years.

I am currently in America where I have been for the past six weeks and will be for the next seven weeks.  It is good to have a change of scenary, different pace of life for a bit.  During what has become my "normal" life in Phnom Penh, Cambodia I am met daily with the reality of sexual abuse, exploitation and trafficking of children, women and men.  Along with each new story that we become part of at our center for prevention and restoration comes the chance to believe a victim, form a strategy to help and pray for God's favor and wisdom as we go forward.

And then, at the end of a workday, I am presented the tasks of leaving the office and focusing on other relationships, to-do-lists and outlets in my own life.  It takes a lot for me to be able to treat what I do at our drop-in center as just one part of my life.  Everything in me doesn't want to stop thinking about, talking through, strategizing a case until it is in the best possible place it can be, until we have completely spent all of our energy and resources-beyond what is expected- so that a child is safe, a family has a plan for financial success, a teenager understands and can apply principles to give himself a bright future, a mother is given the best medical services we can find so she can continue to care for her children, a father is taught about the consequences his choices have on his family...... I don't want to stop, even though it's 4:30 and time to go home.

I know though that if I chose to keep going I would have nothing to give tomorrow. And tomorrow will come with its new stories and new opportunities for myself and our Khmer employees to help.

So, as I live in Cambodia I do choose the discipline of slowing down and shifting my focus so I am filled up by lighter things because I know it is what will help me keep going tomorrow.

But right now, tonight, I sit here in America with LOTS of time on my hands because I don't have daily committments or to-do-lists.  I've chosen to stop for longer than I'm allowed in Cambodia.  And as I live in this strange place of 'in between' where I don't have the same demands/opportunities that have become normal I find myself with different opportunities being given to me by my Creator.

Some days I'll see an article (or five) on Facebook about pedophiles in Cambodia and I have the opportunity to pray my heart out...His heart really.  I can just sit with the pain, the anger, the hope for transformation....all my thoughts and emotions can be what they may for as long as it takes for me to feel satisfied that I have given my heart, my attention, given my all emotionally to this thing that is so complicated and can never be wrapped up in one workday.

Other days I can't stop thinking about those I've grown to love in Cambodia. Literally, can't stop. I know what their days look like, I know when to pray and what to pray for because I'd usually be there with them.  God's heart of intercession blows me away when I slow down so much that I can feel what He feels, hope what He hopes and declare what He has already done and is yet to do! Allowing myself the time and space to partner with Him in this way is completely refreshing to my soul.

I don't want to leave my everyday life, it's not natural for me to walk away from things I'm invested in. But, I choose to seperate myself for a while slowing down and shifting focus because I know I need the things I gain here so I can be reconnected to His heart for me and for those around me. It reminds me of His character and I continue to follow Him.

I can't do this slowing down thing alone. In Cambodia I have friends who remind me (without even knowing it most of the time) that it's time to slow down and shift the focus to other things so we can continue well tomorrow.  There's a need for us to help each other slow down and shift our focus...

Injustice is Injustice But We Can Help

For the past few weeks Wednesdays have been a day for me to catch up on life outside of Cambodia, to send emails to friends, to see photos of new babies, to dream about and plan for a trip to China.... It's been a much needed break from the "normal" things of my life here.  I'm very aware, on a daily basis, of the insane amount of injustice that takes place here in Phnom Penh.  And, most of the time it's injustice that hits on a personal note of some form; a 5-year old who is sold for sex so his family can eat for the next few days, a 13-year old who has been abused and now rapes his 10 year old friends stealing their virginity, a young woman who chooses not to go to school because she has been offered a job making $1/.hour, a 12-year old who has been told to stop going to school so he can stay at home and take care of his mentally unstable mother.....

But wait, it's Wednesday morning here in Cambodia-taking a break, right? Yes.  I've just skyped with some friends who are moving here in about 4 months.  Then I read and replied to a few emails and commented on a Facebook photo of a beautiful new babl boy... And, I was just getting ready to write an update of my own to send out to many of you...

However, I came across a video that caught my attention.  It was entitled "KONY 2012".  I clicked play and waited a while as it downloaded.  When I started watching I wasn't aware how long it was but I watched the entire 30 minutes.  This video reminded me of something I became very passionate about back in 2006.  Do you remember the "Invisible Children" campaign? It was a venue to bring awareness about the atrocities happening to children in Uganda.  They were (still are) being abducted by a man named Joseph Kony and forced to kill. This man steals from children their families, their safety, their consciences and ultimately their freedom.  This has been going on for 26 years now. It is injustice.

So, this morning I thought I was going to take a mini break from the injustice happening right outside my apartment.  And, in a way, I did.

But I was reminded that injustice is injustice.  It is not a respecter of...anything.  By its nature injustice attempts to destroy respect, dignity, freedom, hope, joy....it is the ultimate ploy of our enemy.

Yes, I live in Cambodia and I personally know some people who are suffering horrific injustice, even today as I type.  And, there are people in Africa who are also victims of injustice. And in India.  And in Mexico. And in America.  And....all over the world.

I know that it's not my job to fix any of these things.  It's not your job either.  It is our privileged responsibility to ask Him, the One who gave His life to bring justice into our lives, what He wants us to do along side Him.  I'm very passionate about seeing freedom and justice brought to the ones I love here in Cambodia. I am also passionate about seeing justice brought in the way of capture to Joseph Kony.  I am passionate about justice.

So, I will post videos on behalf of Ugandan children.

I will send finances to missionaries in Nepal.

I will sign petitions on behalf of the oppressed in Guatemala.

 I will live in Cambodia with Khmer people.  

I will visit Ukrainian orphans.  

 I will always do whatever Jesus asks of me when He stirs my heart to move towards justice.  

Cambodia is not my "cause", ending human trafficking is not my "goal" but bringing justice- be it to the individual standing in front of me or to the masses on the other side of the world-

in whatever way He asks of me is what I will do.

What is He asking of you today? Watch a video and become more informed? Write a check? Spend some time praying? Call a senator? Perform a random act of kindness? Befriend a foreigner? Speak His words of truth and life to someone who is hurting? Ask Him and He'll tell you how you can help.....

"But let justice roll on like a river, 
   righteousness like a never-failing stream!"-Amos 5:24

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. 
   And what does the LORD require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy 
   and to walk humbly^[a] with your God." -Micah 6:8

Choosing Gratefulness

For the past few days I've found myself in a bit of a less than great attitude. And, while there are plenty of excuses for this (a headache that lingered way too long, saying goodbye to friends who visited for five weeks, the grocery store all of a sudden not carrying some the things I've become used to buying each week....on and on, blah, blah, blah...) I finally realized that I could choose to see things differently.

After a chat with a friend last night I've decided to intentionally choose gratefulness this morning in hopes of pushing away the unpleasant-ness that's building up.

So, here we go.  I'm blessed and am grateful for:

• The Internet that allows me to communicate with so many friends around the world
• My God who hears my prayers and the prayers of my friends 
• The fact that I can speak enough Khmer to have conversations with the boys at the center without needing a translator
• Knowing two of the best tuktuk drivers in all of Phnom Penh
• The blessing of working with a staff who really enjoy their jobs and want to His Kingdom come in powerful ways to Cambodia
• A water cooler when it is still 93 in my bedroom at 2a.m.
• The tile walls in our kitchen that are an ever changing art gallery of work done by friends with dry erase markers
• The blessing of living in a country where I can freely talk about and worship Jesus
• My iPod
• A cell phone system that allows the transfer of money from one SIM card to another
• This season of God's providing in abundance
• Airplanes so my friends can come to and from Cambodia for visits
• The Boys Center where younger brothers come and know they are safe, known and cared for by Jesus and a staff of older brothers and sisters
• Games of Jenga with Panha
• Tuktuk rides to work with my sweet friend Somphoas that double as great Khmer practice times

Right, tuktuk rides to work, I need to get ready to meet my friend for our ride.  This has been a very helpful activity as I have a smile on my face that I'm sure will stick around as I've opened my heart to be looking for blessings.

Today will be a good day :-)

Being Taught by the Kids

Today was such a good day!

This morning I decided that I was not going to do ANY admin work at the center.  That meant I got to spend our three hour long morning being with the kids and our staff, WOOHOO!!!

On any Monday-Thursday morning from 8:30-11:30 there are various English, computer and playroom classes going on in the building.  Playroom is a unique setting where the boys come in for one hour at a time and sit in small groups of about 3-5 with one or two Khmer staff members.  During this hour the kids play with various legos, erector sets, playdough, race cars, do puzzles, read books....all while building relationships with our staff who are being trained in play therapy techniques.

Once a week we get a special treat when our friend Kim comes to visit! She and her family (husband and two sons) live in Cambodia and when she comes to the center she usually brings a fun science lesson to share with us! Once it was making volcanoes, another time we talked about the bones in our bodies and another we made kazoos out of straws! She also brings her sons with her-a 5 year old and a 3 year old.

Kim and her family have only been here for a few months so they are just beginning to learn the language.  This does not inhibit her boys from jumping right in and playing with "our" boys though! Today I was filled with gratitude, joy and....well, awe, really...as I watched her 5 year old son P. and one of our 9 year old boys, D., play together....

As soon as they saw each other this morning P. and D. began speaking with each other in the fragments of English D. has learned and Khmer P. has picked up.  They sat together in the "quiet room" and completed two puzzles.  It was so fun to watch because they were not just sitting next to each other working independently on different sections of the puzzles but they were truly cooperating to put together the entire picture.  These boys have only known each other for about 6 weeks and only interact once a week for an hour!  I LOVE the honesty of being a child and I especially love that these boys show each other kindness, acceptance and generosity.  This is what the Kingdom of God will be like....and even better :-)

Jesus tells us in Matthew 18 that unless we become like children we will not enter heaven.  I am so grateful for the opportunity He gave me to learn from these two today!  They do not even give any attention to their very obvious differences instead they saw their common goal and seized the opportunity to help one another, learn some new words from one another and have lots of fun together while doing these things!

Lord, would You help me to step out in courage in spite of the obvious differences....I long to enjoy simply living life alongside my brothers and sisters here without fear of mispronouncing a word, without hesitation at doing something differently than I've done in the past and without pride in ideas and theories that I think are THE right ones....I long to stand next to staff members and see these boys through YOUR eyes so we will see the same things in them, I want to stand with these boys You've put in front of me and hear YOUR words of Truth, Freedom and Promise for their lives so that I can join You in speaking them out in English and Khmer!

Verbally Processing the Past 48 Hours

I've said before that writing helps me to make sense of things. I'm a verbal processor and well, there are just a few less people for me to process with here so not only has the Lord been showing me in such wonderful ways that He always wants to hear my thoughts but He has also been reminding me of the outlet that writing can be.

The past 2 days have been filled with some pretty crazy things happening.....I'm warning you now that some of the things written below are not lighthearted and maybe you don't want to know, it's okay with me if you don't read this blog.  I just needed a place to make sense of the things that have going around in my mind.

Here is my attempt to begin to figure out all that happened during the past 48 hours....

• My Khmer sister prayed for my ear that had been stopped up with water, she also prayed for my eyes and thanked God for the leader that I am and for my heart for Cambodia....best part-she prayed in Khmer and I understood about 85% of it!
• Upon returning to work on Monday morning after a week off I was greeted by 5 of my favorite boys with hugs, high fives and "sok sabai, kinyom nuk Yvonne"'s (How are you? I missed you!)
• The Khmer fire marshal showed up unannounced (as many things are here) and proceeded to charge us money to purchase 2 additional fire extinguishers and stickers to put on all of our fire extinguishers which they will come back and reinspect in six months....
• I celebrated a dear friends 65th birthday at a new restaurant.  This lady amazes me....she grew up in Phnom Penh as part of a missionary family. She lived in N.Y.C. for 30 years. She lost her husband a few years ago and is now living in Phnom Penh again and working with us! Our Khmer staff call her "yay" which is a very endearing term for grandma :-)
• I found out that one of little girls at Wat Phnom has a broken leg from a moto accident!
• I ate cold chicken and rice for breakfast :-)
• I thought about studying Khmer
• I listened as Panha told me that one of the boys who had been sold for sex last march came to him this morning and told him that he is still being sexually abused at home. My heart broke and I had no clue as to what to do next. (Now though, twelve hours later, he will have a meeting with a trauma counselor tomorrow afternoon....positive steps in a positive direction....remembering that one day ALL THINGS will be made right...)
• During playroom I was served the BEST imaginary coffee, fried rice and duck egg by my favorite seller, K., and he didn't even charge me any money for my meal :-)
• The staff had a great "meeting" where we played a game much the opposite of Jenga-each person picked one block and had to stack on top of the person before them. We then used this game to teach about the Tower of Babel....so fun to watch 20 something year old Khmer guys laugh and get all nervous about the next block!
• I thought about studying Khmer (yep, I thought about it more than once...)
• I spent hours putting financial info into a spreadsheet....ugh!
• I clarified the words "cooperation" and "corporation" 
• I shared Oreos with Ruthie
• I ate an ice pop made of peach juice while listening to worship music....best 20 minutes ever....
• I watched as 15 boys eagerly crowded around a world map as we pointed out different countries.
• I prayed for wisdom, courage and eyes to see things as He sees them for myself and the staff as we deal with kids who are being sold, kids who steal, kids who don't respect things that belong to other people....kids who are creative, kids who are persistent, kids who WILL grow up to men of integrity...
• My 4 year old friend, P., and I had pork and rice for lunch.
• I watched the sunset out my kitchen window....sweet
• Was gonna study Khmer ten minutes before my lesson....then my "loke crew" (teacher) came 15 minutes early.....Hey, I thought about it
• I did the dishes and hung my clothes up to dry while Jesus and I talked about the awful things happening to that one family...and that other family....and this kid and that one....He reminded me that He is sovereign and that He cares for them and loves them even more than I could ever want to....

I'm glad He's in charge.  It means I can breathe. It means that at the end of the day things won't come crumbling to pieces around me....and, if it seems like they have....He'll show me what my part is in the repairing process as long as I'm listening.

Sea Cow

I have Khmer lessons twice a week and during the past two weeks when I have a lesson I've been speaking about 90% of the time in Khmer (dramatic increase in the amount of Khmer spoken!).

Tonight my "loke crew" (teacher) and I were talking about our day at work and he relayed a story that I was very proud of myself for understanding completely in Khmer (which was demonstrated when I laughed at the appropriate moment) and I think you'll enjoy this story as well.

No, I can't write a single Khmer symbol so my retelling will be done in English :-)

Today during an English lesson the teacher was using a children's book about manatees.  The book was being read entirely in English. The students, a group ranging in age from five to twelve, were really enjoying the book. They liked the pictures and were learning lots of new English vocabulary.

One page told about the fact that a manatee is also sometimes called a "sea cow" (I did not know that until today, did you??).  A five year old boy burst into hysterical laughter as this page was read.

Here's the thing, in Khmer when you speak the words "sea" and "cow" they have very different meanings than in English.

If you say the word "sea", in English phonetics just as it is written, you are saying "eat" in reference to an animal. Example, "the dog eats bones" would be "the dog sea bones" (well, okay, "the", "dog" and "bones" are not pronounced the same in Khmer...don't misunderstand and think Khmer is simple).

And, the word "cow", pronounced just as it is written, means.....pants.

Ahem....so...."the manatee is also called a sea cow".....and cue adorable five year old laughter as he pictures a manatee eating pants :-)

Different Lives, Same God

Today a very sobering thought came to my mind.

I spent an hour this evening with one of my Khmer friends. The original intention was for me to be learning the language during this hour. But, my friend certainly had a lot on his mind.  Thoughts of a sibling who recently had dengue fever and spent a few days in the hospital setting the family back a bit financially, thoughts about a test tomorrow, thoughts of decisions that will effect the future, thoughts about responsibilities at work, thoughts of clients we both work with who are having a rough time right now....By no means an easy load to be carrying.

And, when my lesson (which, today, was more of a good conversation with my younger brother about life) was over he left to go home. It was pouring rain and he drove his moto about 20 minutes to get there.

So, he left and I walked into my bedroom.....and that's when I was hit with reality.

You see, I so desperately wanted to tell my friend to go home and get some rest, some time alone, some down time.  I wanted him to get to a physical place where he could truly rest. But, I didn't say that because even as I thought it I knew it wasn't possible for him.

And yet, there I stood in my LARGE bedroom, so large it's almost the size of where he, his 3 brothers and parents all live together.  It was quiet in my room. I had a fan on and could've even turned on the air con if I'd wanted to. I could set my iPod to a worship playlist and drown out the rest of Cambodia. I could peacefully sit on my balcony and enjoy the rain not having to worry about my apartment flooding.

And, 20 minutes away people I know and love live such a different life....in fact, I'm sure that quite less than 20 minutes away people God loves live quite a different life than I do.

I grew up in inner city America.  Until I was in my 20's I thought living life was about surviving, at best!  Each day was a new challenge to "make do with what ya got". Don't even bother having wants, dreams, needs that are beyond what's right in front of you because nobody will listen and there's no way to make things any better.

During college I began to understand His love for me, during the past year I've grown to know how my Father longs to care for His daughter. And IT IS GOOD.  During the past few years the Holy Spirit has been recreating the way I think and perceive things.  I believe that I am worth being loved. I believe that His desire is for the best for my life. I look at each and every way He has redeemed, provided for and guided me and I'm enormously grateful.

So, I sit here on my bed typing on my laptop. And I'm grateful. Not simply for the material things for I've learned not to cling tightly-one tuktuk ride and my Kindle is broken, one drop of my camera at Wat Phnom and it won't work anymore, one speck of strawberry lemonade powder gets outside its container and the ants have infiltrated the entire thing :-) No, this gratitude is so much deeper-it runs all the way into my soul, deep, deep down so that I can praise Him for the circumstances of my life because He has brought me through it all to right where I am today.

As for my friend....he belongs to the same loving, providing, sovereign God I do. I know he'll seek the rest and peace He desires to give and because my friend seeks, our God will come through.

It probably will look a bit different from what I call peace and rest....and that makes glad. If God provided in the same way for each of us, I wouldn't be learning nearly as much from my Khmer brothers and sisters.

How about you? Has He shown you how grand His plan is, that He provides for and interacts with each of us so uniquely?

Jesus, I love the way You know each one of us so very well. Thank You for Your promise of providing rest and peace when we seek You. Thank You for the ways You've directed my life to bring to right where I am. Thank You for the ways in which You direct the lives of my friends...those in Cambodia, those who are reading this right now...Thank You that You are so very trustworthy and good.

L-O-N-G Days Filled with Honor and Love

It's 6:15pm as I begin to type this. I'm sitting on my couch, watching an amazingly beautiful sunset out my window and feeling quite grateful that I got home early today.

Days have been l-o-n-g the past two weeks with an amazing, very energetic, Kingdom minded short term team here with us. Each day is jam packed with things to do and I do enjoy having so much to be part of! Last week, there was so much I wanted to come home and write about each day for all of you to read. But....I came home and tiredness and Modern Family won out on the nights when I didn't already have plans :-)

So tonight, I'll just write about today instead of trying to catch up on the past.  Maybe I'll get to some of those great stories, someday.

Today.....
I woke up at 5:15am and for those of you who have ever seen me before 8:30am, you are well aware that I was quite incoherent for a while.  I did, however, have an iced coffee since I cold brewed it last night and I listened to music for about an hour.  These things work miracles for my morning mood!

Rode a half hour to the boys center, arrived at 7:15, the team ate their breakfast of yogurt, fruit and pastries.

I like what's been happening at 7:30!  The team, us Western H.P.C. members and our 9 Khmer staff members (8 guys, 1 girl) all have a devotional time together that usually ends with about 20 minutes of worship (a few of our Khmer brothers are excellent worship leaders!) and prayer.

At 8:15 a small group heads out to Wat Phnom where they lead Kids Club for 2 hours followed by about an hour of family visits with some of our regular kids.

Another small group stays at the boys center and continues the painting, cleaning, organizing that has been going on.

My group was the group that got to go out into the neighborhood
this morning. I was particularly excited about today because we were going to visit a family I've come to love so much. I wrote about their story earlier this year here.

Things have begun to change for this precious family. My friend, Panha, who is also one of our Khmer staff members, led the mother and grandmother to the Lord about a month ago! They have also moved from where they were living on the streets to a room (it has walls, a roof and a bathroom) in one of the slum areas of the city.  Might be the slum but, it's certainly a step up from where they were....

I hadn't seen them yet since I've been back. The family consists of the mom, the grandma, the father (he's an alcoholic and not usually around) and 6 children ranging in age from 17 down to about 9 months. Three of the kids now attend school through another organization here.

We were going with the intention of teaching the women how to pray and bringing them a large plastic barrel for them to collect water in since their water only runs for about 4 hours per day.  They need water for many things during the day such as bathing, cooking, washing clothes....

When we arrived we were greeted by my 4-year old friend who should've been in school. We came to find out that this past weekend he had cut his hand on a nail in the door, this makes perfect sense to me, he's quite the active little guy!

Have no fear though-18-year old Panha to the rescue! I mean seriously, he has loved them persistently for the past year including when we found out some horrific news about them, he's led the adult females of this family to the Lord and he has been a social worker in helping them get their home and the kids into school!

Then today! Today he pulls out the first aid kit, puts on some gloves and cleans and bandages physical wounds! (Have I ever mentioned how very much I learn about Jesus from my Khmer brothers...well, be assured, I learn a ton).

So, we, all 7 of us plus the 5 members of the family who were home sat on the floor as Panha simultaneously told me to practice my Khmer with the family and fixed our young friend up.

And we did give them that barrel for the water too :-)

It was SO GOOD to be back in the same country, to be able to encourage not only Panha but also the rest of our Khmer staff. To not have to wait for Skype delays but to be able to look them in the eye and tell them that they are truly bringing His Kingdom into the darkness of this world....that's my absolute favorite part about being here in person.....

Phew, and that's just what I did before 11:30am!!

I'm honored to be here, honored to see His love for His people regardless of the language we speak, the choices we make and the way others perceive us....He loves us all the same.

First Month Back in Cambodia!

This first month back in Cambodia seems like it has gone by very quickly all of a sudden! Here are a few highlights from this month that I'd like to share with you:

-My roommate, Steph, and I were so blessed that we were able to come straight from the airport to our very own apartment! This arrangement was set up for us by our good friend, Ruthie with the help of one of my Khmer brothers, Panha. Our apartment is wonderful, we each have our own bedroom and bathroom, we get a beautiful breeze most days which is indeed a luxury and we even have (drumroll please....) a washing machine! Now, I can do my laundry and have it be dry all within 9 hours (as long as it doesn't rain!).

-I have had the opportunity to finally meet face to face with 3 friends who I have only known via the Internet. I'm constantly amazed at the connections the Lord allows me to make with people who He knows will either be blessings to me on this journey or who I will be able to bless in one way or another.

-It felt so good to go back to Kids Club. I was able to reconnect with some of the families I'd worked with last year, some of them have grown in healthy ways and others are still very much struggling.  The best part about returning to Kids Club was watching my Khmer brothers as they have become so much more capable of running the program with very minimal assistance from our foreign staff!

-The Hard Places Community has hired 5 more male Khmer staff members. I have enjoyed getting to know each of them this past month. Every one of them has a desire to see young boys being cared for, looked after, educated and most importantly, surrendered to the Lord.

Some things I'd love for you to join with me in prayer for include:

-Language! Oh goodness, being gone for 7 months has certainly taken its toll on my ability to communicate in Khmer. Please pray that I would not be discouraged by all I've temporarily forgotten and that I would not let fear stop me from speaking the Khmer I do know.

-that we (the H.P.C.) would all be patient with His timing for the renovations being made to the Boys Center building. We're all so excited about what the future holds that some days it's difficult to stand in the present needs of making our center safe and reliable.

I'm so glad that you are part of this adventure with me! Thank you very much for participating by reading these updates, sending encouraging words and praying with me.

Monday Night in a New Place

Right now it is 6:45pm and I am sitting in my living room in Cambodia, watching the Cosby Show.

Bet you didn't expect that....

Well, yep, that's what I'm doing here on a Monday night. Because, it makes life feel normal.

I've been back for about 10 days now.  And, I have truly realized that this season is really not the same as the last one I spent here.
It was very easy to tell myself (as well as others) that truth while I was in America. It's quite another thing to be here and live it.

It's been tough coming back after 7 months of being gone. I was in the States longer than I was in Cambodia last year (I was here for 5 months) and that wasn't my original intent when I left in November.
I've forgotten so much pia-saa Khmer (Khmer language) that I feel like I'm having to start all over again.
I live in a new neighborhood with new streets, new neighbors, new things that will eventually become familiar.
The kids at Kids Club have all grown (which is great!) and there are all these new ones...certainly many changes in that ministry and much of it is wonderful to observe. That's it though, right now, I'm just an observer in many things here until I get fully settled in again.
I'm having to pray about where my niche will be...there are many opportunities since we're in the process of hiring more Khmer staff members and officially cleaning out and opening the Boys Center.  Lots of new and exciting things to be part of!

Yet, this means that lots of things are simply different than they were last year.  I've found some time to spend with Jesus, letting go of the last season here, sitting before Him, trusting Him, knowing that He has the best possible plans for His glory and my life.

So, yes, on a Monday night my roommate, Steph, and I watched the Cosby Show on our little tv in our apartment. And, it made life feel normal for a bit. I could just laugh at a familiar sitcom and forget the circumstances around me.  It was good and I was glad for it.

How YOU can Partner With Me

If you would like to receive monthly updates please let me know via email orphan2apostle@gmail.com

If at any time you would like to partner financially you may do so through one of the following ways:

• Contact me via email with your mailing address and I will make sure you get the paperwork you need for funds to be directly withdrawn from your account on a monthly basis. orphan2apostle@gmail.com 
• Go to my blog and click on the Donate button on the right side bar. This allows you to give via your debit/credit card or PayPal account.  Funds will go directly into my account with International Outreach Ministries (I.O.M.)
• Send a check including a slip of paper with my name on it made payable to I.O.M. to:

Yvonne Stiles c/o I.O.M.

P.O. Box 2140

McComb, MS 39649

Here is what my monthly budget in Cambodia looks like:

$150-monthly salary for one of our Khmer staff members who is at Kids Club everyday, translates for us, teaches English to adult males who work in massage parlors (questionable places...) and teaches me Khmer.

$300-rent (2 bedroom apartment with real beds, an oven and a tv) and utilities (Internet, cell phone, electricity, water, trash)

$200-food (this includes being able to buy a good iced coffee/smoothie once a week a.k.a.- a bit of sanity!)

$200-transportation-this cost has gone down some as I am more confident to ride around on motos which are much more economical!

$75-ministry expenses-this includes things such as buying snacks for Kids Club, buying art supplies as needed, treating our Khmer staff to a meal every now and then...etc.

$75-Miscellaneous (laundry detergent, toiletries, visa expenses, savings for airfare back to the States...etc.)

Total-$1,000

15 Days and Some Final Needs Before Heading Back to Cambodia!

15 days from now I'll be in the midst of my 29 hour journey to Cambodia....

All of a sudden, that does not seem very far away at all! I'm so excited to begin this new season of life there though, I can't wait to see all that God has planned!

There are 2 specific areas of financial need that I'm hoping to have filled before I leave.  I'd like to give you the opportunity to pray and see if the Lord might ask you to be involved in either of them.

• I still need $200 in partnership each month.  This can happen through as many as 20 people choosing to partner with $10/month or as little as 2 people at $100/month.  Please remember, no amount is too small (or too large...)-it all adds up together!
• In order to be able to move into the apartment my roommate and I have been looking at I will need $600 as a security deposit.

If you would like to take part in seeing these needs fulfilled you may do one of the following:

• Contact me via email with your mailing address and I will make sure you get the paperwork you need for funds to be directly withdrawn from your account on a monthly basis.
• Go to my blog and click on the Donate button on the right side of the home page. This allows you to give via your debit/credit card or PayPal account.  Funds will go directly into my account with International Outreach Ministries (I.O.M.) www.orphan2apostle.blogspot.com 
• Send a check including a slip of paper with my name on it made payable to I.O.M. to:

Yvonne Stiles c/o I.O.M.

P.O. Box 2140

McComb, MS 39649

Please continue to pray that I would end this season well and transition into the new one in Cambodia with complete peace and confidence (as I have right now) in what God is up to.

As always, thank you, thank you for your continued support and encouragement.

Missionary Moses and me

I've been thinking a lot about Moses lately. His story is really a great one. Born during a time when he should have been killed-just for being born!-he had a mom who let the Holy Spirit lead her to risk everything in order to save his life. She hid him for 3 months then sent him in a basket adrift on the Nile. 


God really did have BIG plans for this boy. 


Not only was he found, he was found by none other than Pharaoh's daughter! AND, (I love this part!) she offers to pay Moses' own mother to care for him as a young child! 

When he gets a bit older he is sent back to the Pharaoh's daughter and grows up as an Egyptian. Oh, wait, not just any Egyptian but royalty. 


So, this little boy was born and should have died. Not only is his life spared but his mother gets to watch him grow then he is given the honor of being treated as royalty-God's big picture is much more grand than we ever imagine.

One day, God speaks to Moses and his life is never the same....sound familiar to anyone else?

God allows Moses the privilege of fighting on behalf of an oppressed people. And, not only fighting for their freedom but, fighting for their freedom so that they can enter into relationship with the one true God (yep, missionary).

Sounds kinda great doesn't it? Fighting for justice. Fighting on behalf of people who need someone to fight for them. Fighting to see people enter into relationship with God....I like the sound of those kinds of things!

But, were I Moses, would I have liked it?

Moses had to go before the King...and demand that he stop oppressing the Hebrews. Moses didn't know the Hebrews, they were a foreign people to him but he was moved with fierce passion to see them treated justly (did I mention, I think Moses was a missionary?). In order for this to happen he went to Pharaoh and told him that if he wouldn't let the Hebrews go awful things would happen to the Egyptians.

This is where I'm not sure I would've been able to do what Moses did...when Pharaoh didn't let the people go it was Moses' job to initiate all kinds of awful plagues on the Egyptians (frogs, boils, locusts, darkness...eventually the death of every firstborn son). 
For the sake of justice for one group of people he watched as destruction came upon another group. Pharaoh was the one making the decisions and the plagues came upon ALL of the Egyptians.

I just don't know that I would have had the strength to watch hardship come upon an entire group of people based on their King's hardheaded decision. I'm certain that the only thing that would've kept me going would have been the knowledge that God told me to....

But, then again....

If today I had the opportunity to

free orphans... 

or child prostitutes... 

or homeless people.... 

or widows....

 from oppression 

and lead them into relationship with God 

BUT the condition 

was that I had to initiate and watch destruction come upon an entire people group associated with their oppressors.....what would I do then?

I don't know......other than to say that I'd follow God with all of who I am....His plan is so much bigger than the small, momentary glimpses we get during our time on this earth. Yeah, I'd follow Him.

(I really do not know why the font is different sizes and can't figure out how to change it....sorry!)

Differences

As I've been beginning to prepare for going back to Cambodia I've been putting some serious thought into how I spend money differently there as opposed to here in America.  Some of the difference are really big ones and quite sobering while with others, I'm able to just kind of shake my head at and laugh... As I considered monetary difference I began to remember others and I thought you might like to share in some of my findings:

• In America one 12oz. latte will cost me either $3.50 at Starbucks or $1.10 at QuikTrip.
• In Cambodia, I can get a 20oz. iced coffee with sweet milk for $0.70 or an entire 20oz. french press of coffee for $1.00 (I will admit though that a smoothie or frappuccino type drink does cost anywhere from $3-$5)
• In America a fast food lunch (sandwich, side and a drink) will run you anywhere from $3.50-$8
• In Cambodia I can buy numerous lunch combinations from local vendors for no more than $1.50 (fried rice, a filled pork bun, lettuce wraps, dragonfruit...). However, fast food such as KFC or Pizza Company/Pizza World costs you anywhere from $4-$10 :-)
• Milk. A half gallon of "fresh" a.k.a. "cold" milk will cost about $4.50. 
• It's okay though, because you can buy a cardboard box of "milk" that has been sitting on a shelf for a while for about $2.00 :-)
• Cereal. This one is a big one for me. So, first, I have about 100+ options to choose from here in America. And they cost anywhere from $2-$4.50
• Not so in Cambodia. At the western grocery store I can find 3-5 options during a good week. The prices? Anywhere from $6-$13! (Lucky Charms was once $13.50, no joke)
• Strawberries!!! I am currently enjoying all the wonderfully flavorful fruits I can while I'm in America and saw strawberries on sale today for $0.96/lb.  I know, they can cost as much as $3.50/lb here. 
• But, would you pay $9.60/lb if you were in Cambodia, where, there is not even a word in the Khmer language for strawberry (talk about a delicacy!)? I haven't...yet...I'll let you know if I cave and buy them sometime :-)
• Snacks. When asked to bring a snack to share for a party here in America people bring things like potato chips, popcorn, cookies....
• My Khmer friends bring things such as bags of fried crickets, durian fruit (also called the "smelly fruit") or cans of bright, almost glowing, Fanta.
• Water. When I first got back to America last November I was asked to pay $1.75 for a 20oz bottle of water! No thank you, I'll just go turn on the tap and run it through a filtering pitcher (maybe, if I'm being really picky)
• In Cambodia I would NEVER drink water from the tap and there are no filtering pitchers. BUT, it's all good because I can get a 20oz. bottle for $0.25 or a 5 gallon jug delivered to my apartment for $1 :-)
• In America it will cost you on your electric bill when you do laundry with your washing machine and dryer.
• In Cambodia you'll be charged a minimal amount for the water used while you wash your clothes but the real cost is the TIME you'll spend! And then, please, oh please, don't rain as soon as I've hung my clean-smelling-of-laundry-soap clothes on the line to dry....
• If you were to go into a store here in America without shoes on your feet you'd more than likely be denied service, at the least.
• Go into a store in Cambodia with your shoes ON and you're likely to be scolded and shooed out the door to remove your flip-flops.

These are some of the things I've missed while being in America. Not necessarily missed them because they are all so wonderful but, rather, because each of these differences was discovered for me during some kind of memorable experience with lots of people who I'm so glad to know and have be part of my story :-)

I'm looking forward to going back, to continuing to discover the differences and embrace the memories that will come from each day there.

TraffickJam2011-The Need for a Boys Center in Cambodia

Some of you already know this but, I lived in Cambodia for 6 months last year and am planning on returning long term this coming June.

One of the major projects I worked on while there was to begin a program that provides a safe place for young boys in Phnom Penh who are at risk of being sold for sex or who are already being sold.  I got to meet and build relationships with 26 boys between the ages of 4 and 14.  Each of these boys would come to the Kids Club program I helped to begin.  The program was held Monday-Friday for 2 hours.  We would play games, sing songs, make crafts, share a Bible story, eat snack together and simply get to know each other! These were always my FAVORITE 2 hours of the day!!!

The next step for this project is for the Hard Places Community to open our own center for these boys! In order to do this we need quite a bit of funding.

Will you consider taking part in a nationwide Walk-A-Thon to raise funds for us to be able to open our Boys Center this summer?

This event is open to ANYONE IN ANY STATE in the U.S. 

All you need to do is 

1. Sign up on the TraffickJam Website or email the coordinator listed for your State

2.  Have a group of friends (your colleagues at work, your church, your friends on campus....whoever you want!) who want to participate with you 

3.  Choose a 10 mile route in your area (if you are the coordinator for your area)

4.  Ask at least 10.people to sponsor you $10!

You will receive all kinds of support along the way, flyers to give out to people and sponsor envelopes. Each member of your team will  also get a t-shirt :-) 

If you are interested or have questions please let me know or go straight to the TraffickJam Website. You can also "like" us on our Facebook page.

This blog, the website and the Facebook page all have stories about boys who we are currently working with, so please feel free to read them and pass them on!

We are hoping to get at least one group of walkers from EVERY STATE so, even if you can't participate, please spread the word! Pass this email along, post it to your Facebook/Twitter page...help get the word out.

Thank you so much for considering how you can help bring an end to modern day slavery by partnering with TraffickJam!

Here is a video that presents our vision....

Let me know what you think and please contact me with any questions at all!

Prayer is a Weapon...And a Choice.

Yesterday morning I read that great article on prayer and posted it here.  I was so encouraged! I was reminded of how very powerful prayer truly is and was inspired to begin to wield this weapon I've been so freely given and yet use so rarely.

And, I did pray more yesterday than I have on other days.  I found myself praying about all kinds of things throughout my day.  I prayed for my roomate's car as she took it to the shop, I found myself praying for the staff of the church I attend, I prayed for a friend who is a sophomore in college and just beginning to realize how very big the world is and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, I prayed for grace and favor to be with another friend who is trying to manage his finances well to be able to do all the things God's put on his heart to do (like return to Cambodia this summer!)....Okay, so I prayed more yesterday than I have on other days (mind you, all these prayers were quite sporadic during the day-each one lasting anywhere from about 4-7 minutes....don't think I was like spending hours upon hours with God...which would have been great but, maybe that'll happen another day).

Then, last night at about 8:00 which is 9:00am in Cambodia my mind drifted to Phnom Penh and Svay Pak.  This is very common, I often wonder about what my friends are doing on the other side of the world.  And, thanks to technology, one of my American teammates in Cambodia was online and we began chatting on Facebook.  I really enjoy being able to connect with her so frequently, it helps me to stay in the loop with what's happening there and it's a great outlet for the both of us as we struggle with things that only those who've been there and experienced firsthand can relate to.

Earlier that morning I'd read an email update from another teammate.  Because it was sent out en mass the details of some stories were vague.  I began to ask questions about a situation that was described in the update.  My friend proceeded to confirm the truth of a situation we'd all been desperately hoping was not reality. Turns out that two of our youngest kids from the Wat Phnom ministry are indeed being sold nightly.  They are both boys, a 6-year old and a 4-year old.

A 4-year old boy who, even when we do have enough evidence and can catch the bad guy, HAS NO PLACE TO GO.  There is not a safe place for boys in Phnom Penh, let alone one where the eternal hope and healing of Jesus is offered.  Yet....

There is not a safe place for boys in Cambodia yet.  There will be because God has given us (the Hard Places Community) His dream for a place of refuge for little ones like this boy and the many others whose stories are very similar to his.  TraffickJam2011 has a mighty purpose in fulfilling this dream....And, I'm excited to see how He will provide!

But, last night and this morning I find myself with a truly broken heart (again).  I wept so hard last night, my stomach hurt and I was so angry at the evil of this fallen world.  Then I remembered about the weapon I've been given....and I was faced with such a clear choice: would I choose to believe that prayer was no match for this horrid situation that is only one of millions and be overcome by despair and hopelessness? Or, would I choose to bravely use what I've been given, knowing that it is prayer that ultimately moves heaven and earth?...not simply my words but my words being added to the power of the One who hears my pleas, the One whose heart is broken so much more than mine will ever be?  Would I belive that if I pray, if I choose to let my prayers rise to His throne with the countless other prayers that surely flood that place on behalf of the same issue, that He would hear and that things will change?

Yikes.  Big decision.  I chose to pray....I prayed through my tears, I cried, I yelled, I was angry, I was hurting. But, I went to my King, the One who has true power and authority in this world. And, I believe that He heard me and I trust that He knows best. His word tells me so; "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."-Isaiah 55:8-9.

Sometimes I want to stop feeling, I want to pretend that the little ones He's allowed to know and love in Cambodia are just fine, to not read the updates from teamates....But, my God promises to honor the sacrifice of a broken heart...so I'll continue to seek His heart and walk with Him...Psalm 51:15-17 "O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You don't delight in sacrifice or I'd bring it; You don't delight in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you won't despise."

Today, I'll choose to pray.....because it's what I can do right here, right now.

YOU Have an Important Role to Fulfill!

I came across this article written by Benjamin Nolot who has served in Cambodia and wrote this for an organization called ExodusCry whose mission is to see modern day slavery come to an end. They advocate prayer as the powerful weapon it truly is! I hope that this article spurs you to pray....simply to pray.  Not only for those in Cambodia I've been telling you about but, for people in any place around the world who are oppressed.  Prayer is our most powerful weapon regardless of the shape the enemy takes on.

"After first becoming exposed to the realities of modern-day slavery, people’s common reaction is, “What can I do?” Instantly, people imagine that they have to raid a brothel in Cambodia or witness to a prostitute in Vegas in order to have a real impact. Yet, what is often forgotten in the abolition equation is the very real and integral component of prayer.

Prayer is not just a means for abolition. It is the central means.

In Luke 18 Jesus gives us a key insight into abolition. Through parable, He tells us how God brings justice into unjust situations. As the wisest, most knowledgeable man ever to walk the earth, He could have said many things about this subject. He could have offered us some wisdom in lawmaking or a ‘how-to’ on building judicial systems. He could have given us strategies on outreach or on how to feed the poor. But instead, He highlighted just one simple thing: prayer. Jesus taught that “speedy justice” would come in response to “day and night” prayer (Lk. 18:7-8).

Prayer connects us to the heart of God, defeats the spiritual forces of darkness behind slavery, and releases God’s healing presence in the hearts of those who have been traumatized and exploited––all things we could never do in our own strength.

Past abolitionists have proven the effect of prayer. Four men, in particular, come to mind when thinking about abolitionists through history: Moses, Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, and William Wilberforce. If there’s one defining characteristic that each of these men possessed, it was a life of prayer.

It was through prayer that Moses released the plagues in Egypt that brought about the great exodus of the enslaved Jews.

Jesus routinely spent entire nights in prayer before performing great miracles that set people free.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient.”

William Wilberforce warned, “Of all things, guard against neglecting God in the secret place of prayer.”

These men were completely dependent on God to bring about the abolition they all so deeply longed for. If we want to be the abolitionists that these men were, we must embrace the God-ordained means of abolition. Prayer wasn’t just a precursor to their abolition. It was their abolition.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom in suburban America or a full-time practitioner in Southeast Asia, everyone can be an active abolitionist through prayer." -Benjamin Nolot

Learning of the Pain That Comes With Love

Oh gosh.....I just don't really know where to even begin....

At the bottom of this post is a video of a the song, "I Saw What I Saw" by Sara Groves.  Her lyrics seem to meet my emotions quite perfectly these days.  Once again, I'm reminded of what a wonderful gift music is and am so grateful for skilled writers!

I want to be able to share stories with you about my recent trip to Cambodia.  The problem is, right now, all I can think of  are the stories that are not so fun to tell :-(

I mean, I can still share them with you. And, maybe they will even lead you to greater times of prayer for the people I know and love or maybe they will give you the courage to share some of your own "not so fun to tell" stories.  That would be a good thing, right?

While in Phnom Penh I was able to see many of the people I'd hoped to reconnect with.  There was one big difference in being there this time though.  It was like I was  able to feel all the emotions that were alive around me for the first time.  I think that while I was living there for nearly 6 months I simply let every part of my life become routine and in doing so was able to stop myself from feeling the raw emotions that could have easily accompanied any given day.

Returning to Kids Club at Wat Phnom was so great....for the first ten minutes. Then, I just found myself sitting in the middle (quite literally, they were ALL OVER ME) of a group of 20 kids who I've spent countless hours with.  But, this time I felt pain.  It was painful to watch as my 4 year old friend so easily went up to any stranger and asked for....wel, anything he could get really.  This is how he and his 6 year old sister spend their days-begging for food, money, water.  All of a sudden the reality that this is NOT right came crashing down on top of me as never before.  It was painful to think about what happens each night (drug deals, transvestites selling themselves, currupt police officers adding to the chaos, children wandering aimlessly and unsupervised....oh, the list could go on....) in the very park where we have club each day.  THIS IS WHERE THESE SWEET ONES ARE GROWING UP.  And, it hurt, a lot. 

I visited my friends in Svay Pak, the village where I'd spent every morning, the very same village that was written about in Gary Haugen's book, Terrify No More. From June through October I would arrive each morning with any of my various teamates and we would be blown away at the joy with which we were met!  Our students were eager to learn, the  younger kids were LOUDLY singing whatever the newest Bible song was that they'd been taught the afternoon before and the young women along with the Pastor's wife were all chatting and laughing in the kitchen as they prepared for lunch later that day....always lots of fun! This time though, I was met by my dear friends who are still grieving the loss of their son, Daniel, earlier this year.  The reality of such strong leadership mourning was thick and heavy (as mourning usually is).  One of my brothers there told me about his 30 year old sister-in-law who had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer and sent home to die.  We prayed-he prayed for my eyes and I prayed for his family. This morning I got an email telling me that his sister-in-law, Pov, has gone to be with Jesus. I cried...and will probably cry some more.  

My mind is too tired to keep making sense of the things I felt during my short visit.  Maybe in a few days I'll have the energy for more.....

For now, please join with me in prayer in whatever way you feel led.  Thank you for coming along for the journey...it's certainly not over yet.

And, it certainly does not end in despair.  My God is a Redeemer and He is already redeeming in Cambodia.  I will continue to look for the hope in each story. And I also promise that I won't be afraid to share some of pain as well....I believe that He allows us to feel the pain so that we will be able to experience joy in all of its fullness. 


Yes, Lord, I will live with the pain for a time because I KNOW the joy of Your glory in every circumstance is more than worth it!

Just 10 Days

Well, my flight back to Cambodia leaves at 6:25am tomorrow! I will stay there for about 10 days and arrive back in Kansas City on Tuesday, January 25th.  Although I'm not headed back for an indefinite amount of time as originally planned I am still very excited about this trip.  I just spent some time with Jesus asking Him about what He has for me during this seemingly very short stay in Phnom Penh.  These are some of the things He shared with me and they really encouraged me so I thought I'd share them with you.


I will spend my time doing a number of things, most of which are directly related to connecting with people who I've grown to know and love through various means; some are children I have the privilege of spending time with as I help to lead Kids Club at Wat Phnom, some are young adults who I've been honored to get to know through teaching English and some are simply friends and colleagues who I'm so blessed to get to live life alongside while I'm there.


I will be able to have a direct hand in transitioning Kids Club to a group of American women who all have made 2 year commitments to Cambodia.  I'm very grateful to be able to pass the baton of this program to people who I know will be able to see it through for a while as opposed to a short term group who would then leave and cause the kids to go through even more changes.  I have been allowed to get to know these kids, to visit some of their homes, to take them on outings, to watch their attitudes towards us as leaders transform  from one of indifference into one where they all eagerly line the street each day waiting for us to show up!  They've all secured themselves in my heart in a very special way and I can't wait to be back in Cambodia this summer with a long term goal of helping to get the Boys Center running!


I will have the opportunity to meet with some of the teens and young adults who I taught English.  I will be able to tell them in person why I am not coming back right now.  My prayer is that through this they will not just see another person who came into their world for a moment and then pulled out because they had things to get back to somewhere else.  When I shared my testimony with them in Svay Pak I told them that I was sharing my story so that we could become friends.  I had no intentions of challenging them to offer their lives to Jesus and then leaving them to wonder at what that really meant.  I told them that I'd be available, that I WANTED, to walk out the journey with them.  And, that is still what I feel the Lord has for me in some of those relationships.  So, it will be very good for me to be able to keep true to my word and to not give them any reason to think that I have chosen to run away from their questions.  It is by our love that the world will know we are His....


Hopefully, I will be able to get some video footage of some of my Hard Places teammates speaking about the issues facing young boys in Cambodia.  I'd also like to get on video a testimony of one of the young men I've met who has given his life to Jesus and is now standing fiercely and firmly against the powers of deception and darkness that once ruled his life.  The powers that still have a strong grip on the lives of so many in Cambodia....but, that WILL change one day, one day soon.  Jesus is raising up a generation of people in Cambodia who are standing up for the Truth, speaking out on behalf of the oppressed and fighting for justice to reign.


I will also be able to share with those I value dearly as brothers and sisters in the Kingdom, both Americans as well as Khmer, the very personal way that the Lord has asked me to follow Him in seeking out His best for my eyesight.  This is not going to be an easy thing for me to give attention to during the next few months and I know that I will not be able to do it alone.  My tendancy will be to push it aside and spend all of my energy in other places.  I do see it as a gigantic, gracious, blessing from the Lord that He is providing me with an outlet to continue to pour into the Boys Center as I travel to promote TraffickJam. But, I am fully aware that this opportunity presented itself only after I chose to yield when He asked me to fight for my eyesight.  I value very highly and covet the prayers of my brothers and sisters in Cambodia along with all of yours as well.


Yes, just 10 days.  10 days that when completed will allow me to come back to the States with a feeling of peace, a knowledge that I did my part in honoring the people I've met and love.  I pray that I will come back feeling settled, settled into this new part of the adventure.  Not only settled but, even anticipating that He is going to meet me in every step, that He has something so specific and so important for the rest of my journey here on this earth, that I MUST be here in order to live out the rest in a way that will bring only more glory to Him.  I'm expecting to learn so much more about who He is and how He cares for people as I submit to Him in what He asks of me concerning my eyesight.  And, I'm excited about all of the things I'll experience, all of the people I'll meet and all of the stories I'll have to share as I promote TraffickJam!


I can't wait...... :-)